And these Bench Pressing Bozos will be working out with all kinds of weight machines. When we were kids, my brother Rick got a cheap weight set from Grant’s Department Store that was made out of concrete encased in plastic. The weights fell off those bars so many times there were chunks of concrete falling out of the cracked plastic. Sure we all got Acute Respiratory Silicosis from inhaling concrete but we didn’t care, we got to do leg lifts.

You can also bet those Psycho Cyclists will be taking spinning classes so they can pedal their bikes while wearing spandex and listening to rave music. When I was a kid, I got my bicycle exercise while riding my Stingray Bike in the snow with 50 pounds of Detroit News papers in my saddlebags. Sure I would come home freezing with snot frozen on my face, but I didn’t care, I would make about $2.50 per week in tips.

So you go do your Wacky Workouts while listening to Dub Step, but as for me I’m going to do some old-fashioned exercise. I’m going to put on my blue short-sleeved jumpsuit, fill my LA Times Saddlebags with concrete and go riding my Stingray Bike in the neighborhood. But guess what? There’s no snow in Los Angeles. Ha Ha Ha!!

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