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THE BEST OF
From
Our July 2006 Edition |
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 ll,
it’s summertime, and that means those McCarty grandbrats
will be sitting on their keesters in their air-conditioned
homes watching their big screen TVs and playing video
games. Those summer slackers wouldn’t even think of
going outside because it’s too hot for them. Just
thinking of those baby buffoons makes me hotter than the
cement on my front porch in July.
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Those
kooky kiddies will be playing Doom 3 on their PlayStation
2 with Dolby 4.1 Sound. That makes me wanna go Number 2.
When we were kids we played outside on a hot day and had
loads of fun. All we needed was a magnifying glass and a
bunch of ants and we were happy for hours. Or we would get
a roll of caps and hit them with a hammer and make a huge
explosion. Sure, we’d miss once in a while and hit our
thumbs. We had black thumbnails and smelled like
gunpowder, but we didn’t care, we loved it. |
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And
those kids nowadays don’t even know how to cool off.
There idea of having fun is getting in an
air-conditioned car and driving 20 miles to a water
park. When I was a kid, we would just put on our
swimming trunks and run through the sprinklers on the
front lawn. Then there were times when we got a Slip
‘N Slide or a Water Weenie and we had the time of our
lives. Sure, we usually twisted our ankle and wrecked
our grass, but we loved it. Cause we were happy with
what we had.
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And
those little baseball babies will be sitting in the air
conditioning watching the Detroit Tigers on their big
screen television. When I was a kid, we sat on the porch
outside with my dad and listened to the Tigers on a
crappy transistor radio. We had no instant replay, no
fancy graphics, and no surround sound. All we had was a
2-inch speaker and it was good enough for us. Sure,
Ernie Harwell sounded like the guy at the drive-thru at
McDonald’s, but we didn’t care, we loved it. |
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So,
it’s gonna be no air-conditioned house for my kids
this summer. I’m putting them in their swimming trunks
and giving them a hammer and a transistor radio and
making play outside all day long. And as for me, I think
I’m gonna stay inside.... |
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