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THE BEST OF
From
Our November, 1994 Paper Edition |
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 ll, it's
Thanksgiving Day, and that means that McCarty Kids
everywhere will be waited on hand and foot by their
parents and get to live like little kings and queens. Just
thinking about those little brats makes me more steamed
than one of those little rubbery carrots. When I was a
kid, we celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way!
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These
parents nowadays have all kinds of fruits and vegetable
dips for those little brats to eat before their meal.
You'd think there was a regular smorgasbord going on. When
I was a kid, if you had to eat something before dinner,
you ate a date. Little brown shriveled up pieces of blah!
And my Mom would try to trick us every year by putting
something good like a pineapple or a cherry in 'em. But it
didn't matter cause after you ate the pineapple you were
still stuck with a sticky date. But we shut up and we ate
'em cause we was happy to get whatever we could.
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And
then these parents today let their kids eat dinner wherever
they want when guests come over.
"Ohhh, I'd like to sit on the couch and watch
television!" or "I'd like to eat and play Nintendo
until my brain is like Jell-O!" The only thing I was
sure of when we had company was that I'd be sitting on the
crummy piano bench. Oh, I'd be sharing that backless bench
with one of my rotten brothers and I had to sit up straight
while I ate my food because if I didn't, my Mom would make
me sit on phone books and everybody would laugh. "Oh
look at the little phone book boy!!" But we loved it,
because at least we had a place to sit and eat.
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And
nowadays after the game, these kids watch MTV, a movie, or
any of the other 324 channels available on cable. When I was
a kid, on Thanksgiving we just sat there and watched my Dad
try to get the Lions game on Channel 8 from Cleveland. He
would create some modern art sculptured aluminum foil
antenna to try to improve the reception, while we stared at
a blank screen. And if my Dad thought he saw a football
helmet through the snowy static, NOBODY MOVED. You had to
freeze in your position for the whole game while everyone
watched static and listened to the game on radio.
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So
this Thanksgiving, sit down with your family and think about
that very first Thanksgiving Day when the pilgrims invited
the Indians over and some poor pilgrim kid got stuck sitting
on the piano bench.
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