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THE BEST OF

From Our September 1993 Edition

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ll, last Tuesday morning, as I threw my car in reverse and back out of my driveway, I almost hit someone. The adolescent scream I heard made me realize that school must be back in session. When I look at these pampered kids nowadays standing around waiting for school busses and dodging traffic, I realize that today's kids don't know how good they have it. I'm more ticked off than a watch with no 'tock' over the way these kids are spoiled.

Kids today wear $80 baggy pants, baggy shirts, and baseball caps backwards. "Ohhh, we want to look like all the other kids!" When I was a kid, the only other kid I looked like was my older brother about two years earlier! We got a choice of two types of clothes... We got hand-me-downs, or we got nothin'! We wore tight fitting flood pants that were too short. And if you got caught with the fishtail of your dress shirt hanging out, you got the crap kicked out of you. And that's the way it was, and we loved it!

Nowadays, all the school have these mumbo, jumbo, sissy classes. "Ohhh, I'm taking Computer Electronics and Alternative Lifestyles." If these pansy kids went to school when I was a kid, we would have introduced them to Swirlie 101! When I was a kid, everybody got their head put in a toilet, and we loved it! The only way you know the other lids liked you was if they flushed the toilet first.

Nowadays, kids have to have a computer at home so they can do their homework and turn in some fancy, schmancy, word processed, laser printed, piece of crap to their teacher. When I was a kid, we did homework the old-fashioned way, we had our Mom do it. I held the encyclopedia while she typed and then I'd hand it in for a guaranteed 'A'. And that's the way school was, and we loved it!

School goes by too quickly to let your kids miss the best years of their lives. So reach in the back of your closet and pull out some of your old clothes for your school-age boy or girl. In no time at all, they will be coming home like we did, with their hair smelling like urine and asking you to do their homework.

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The McCarty Metro - 9323 Sussex Avenue - Detroit, Michigan 48228

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