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From Our June 2008 Edition




ll it’s June and that means those little McCarty grandbrats will be getting out of school for summer vacation. And don’t look for those lazy loafers playing outside, because they will be parked on their keesters, indoors for the entire summer complaining they are bored with nothing to do. Just thinking about those helpless hermits, burns me more than an ant under a magnifying glass. Those summer sissies need to get outside!

Oh, you can bet those video vagrants will be playing all summer long on the Wii video game and then they will try to explain it to me, like I care. “Ewww! When I move my arm with a throwing motion, the animated avatar on the screen will throw the ball” Nice Einstein, why don’t you just go outside play catch with a rubber ball. When I was a kid, we could play outside all day long with a rubber ball. We could play pickle, porch baseball, strikeout, and lots of other games. Sure, the games would usually end with the ball going into someone’s yard, someone getting bit by a dog, and some old guy yelling at us to stay off his grass, but we didn’t care, we were happy to be outside!

And if they’re not in front of the TV, those Internet Idiots will be on the computer on Webkins, Club Penguin, or some other website chatting with some guy who’s going to be on next week's episode of Dateline: To Catch a Predator. When I was a kid, if you wanted to chat with someone, we would go to  Coyle Park and talk to Crazy Charley. He was a near-sighted savant who talked a lot about chess. Sure if you made him mad, he would chase you around the park and try to hit you with his cane, but we didn’t care, we were happy to be outside!!

And thanks to Aunt Kristen, my son Evan now has a “mini-fridge” in his room. He has that thing stuffed with soda, juice boxes, and apples. When I was a kid, if you wanted a cold drink, you got 3 friends and went down to Happy Jack’s Party Store on Joy Road. We’d all chip in to get one bottle of pop and pass it around to share. Sure, we all got cold sores and pink eye, but we didn’t care we were happy to have a cold drink!

So, this summer, do what I’m gonna do and kick your kids out of the house. Sure, they will probably come back with dog bites, cold sores, pinkeye, and some crazy guy chasing them, but at least you can watch your own TV shows!



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