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Well it’s June and that means those Ungrateful Grandbrats will be getting ready for Father’s Day. Dads nowadays give their kids the world all year long and all we get on Father’s Day is a computer printed card and a crappy present from Walmart. Just thinking about those Cheapo Children makes me want to yell louder than the tie that my kids are probably gonna get me. My Dad had the right idea when he raised us. He didn’t spoil us and we were better off for it.
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Oh, today’s Feeble Fathers let their kids watch whatever they want on TV. They will be watching Dog with a Blog, Marvin Martian, Austin & Ally, and every other crappy kids show on the Disney network. When we were kids, my Dad ran the television the way he wanted and the only thing I was involved in was jumping up to turn the channel, moving my head out of the way, or moving the rabbit-ear antenna so The Lou Gordon Show came in clear. Sure we were like human remote controls, but we didn’t care, we loved it!! |
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And Nowadays these Pushover Papas take these kids to all sorts of places. They’ll be going to Cedar Point, Disney World, Universal Studios and lots of other fancy places. When we were kids, my Dad gave us a choice of 2 places to go to. You could go running down hills at Rouge Park or you could go to H E Double Hockey Sticks! We’d be running, tripping, falling, and rolling down those hills and we looked like the Losers Bracket for the Special Olympics, but we didn’t care, we loved it!!
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And those Dawdling Dads get put on guilt trips to attend
Parent Teacher conferences. Nothing looks more stupid than a 200-pound guy sitting in a tiny desk, trying to look interested in some project made of construction paper, popsicle sticks, and pipe cleaners. The only time that my dad went to school was to get my brother Dennis from MacKenzie High School after he was held hostage by the Junior Black Panthers. Sure, Dennis was later photographed with the Black Panthers wearing a Leather Beret and calling himself Theofis, but we didn’t care, we loved it!! |
Well, I’m going to start running things around my house the old fashioned way. The Sattellite TV is coming out and the Rabbit Ears are going up. And don’t even think about inviting me to a Parent-Teacher Conference. And if you want something fun to do you can come running down hills with me and Theofis!
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