ED NOTE: Our Blast From The Past page contains memories
from 5 years to 100 years ago. I encourage all suscribers to
submit their memories, photos, and ideas to
reply@mccartymetro.com
to have them shared with our family.
.
CHIP 'n' DALE
Chip and Dale (often stylized as Chip 'n' Dale) are two chipmunk cartoon characters created in 1943 at Walt Disney Productions. Their names are a pun based on the name "Chippendale". This was suggested by Bill "Tex" Henson, a story artist at the studio.In the '50s, they were finally given their own series, but only three cartoons were made; Chicken in the Rough (1951), Two Chips and a Miss (1952) and The Lone Chipmunks (1954).
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METRO
ARCHIVES - FEBRUARY 2004
The
Presidents vs. The McCartys
UNCANNY COINCIDENCES
Presidents
Day falls this month. We pause now to consider the
mysterious links between some of our nation’s
commanders in chief and the McCarty brothers.
GEORGE
WASHINGTON
MCCARTY
BROTHERS
.
Threw a stone across the Potomoc
Cut down a cherry tree
Never told a lie
Wooden teeth
On the $1 bill
Powdered his hair to make it white
.
Had the Mysterious Stone Thrower
Had a cherry tree in the back yard
Never got away with telling a lie
Porcelain teeth
Spent many $1 bills
Hair going white all by itself
.
ABRAHAM
LINCOLN
MCCARTY
BROTHERS
.
Grew up in a log cabin
Was president of the US
Freed the slaves
Comfortable with homely looks
Shot watching Our American Cousin
.
Grew up with Lincoln Logs
DJ was president of 8th grade class
Took anything that was free
Well, duh, we’re cool about it, too
Did shots with cousin Tony
.
KENNEDY
LINCOLN
MCCARTYS
.
7
The names Lincoln, Kennedy and McCarty
each contain seven letters.
Southern
Connection
Both Kennedy and Lincoln were succeeded by
Southerners.
Larry McCarty lives down South.
The
Johnson Link?
Both Kennedy’s and Lincoln’s
successors were named Johnson. Mom McCarty
used Johnson wax. And – follow this,
now: Safety captain DJ fired his own
brother, Larry; and if Larry’s successor
was named Johnson, that would be really
eerie.
08
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was
born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was
born in 1908.
Rick McCarty went 0-for-8 during a
doubleheader at Coyle Park.
Caught
John Wilkes Booth ran from the theater and
was caught in a warehouse.
Lee Harvey Oswald ran from a warehouse and
was caught in a theater.
Mike McCarty was caught trying to get into
the Atlas Theater for kid’s price.
Shot
Lincoln was shot in the Ford Theatre
Kennedy was shot in a Ford Lincoln
All McCartys at one time or another drove
a car that was shot.
SOUND
OFF
WOULD
IT KILL YA!
I like the Metro going monthly. I will up my
subscription for 1more year, but would it kill ya
to put more girls, get rich quick schemes &
trivia in it? -Raiff
OH
BILLY BILLY BILLY BILLY
Congratulations on The McCarty Metro going
monthly. Best of luck to your crackjack staff. And
keep "Peanut and Jocko" coming. Ah, the
joys of toilet humor. heh-heh. Good night and good
news. -Ted Baxter
LAWSUIT?
A monthly? Congrats. Our lawyers will be talking
to your counsel. -Local 9323 / International Guild
of Online Reporters, Columnists and Cartoonists
THE 5 SECRETS OF A
PERFECT RELATIONSHIP
1. It is important that a man helps you around the
house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on
and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man is good in bed and
loves making love to you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know
each other.
A
NEW LOOK (right)
I know you worry about me over here, but
take a look at this picture. I had the
"Fab 5" come over and do a
make-over for one of my former neighbors
here in Iraq. You should see what they did
to his "Spider Hole". The best
part of the whole thing was when Carson
asked me to "Be a lamb and pass me
the nose hair trimmers". -DP
CALL
TERMINEX
Hey! What ever happened to the big Cockroach
reunion. I saw it advertised on more than one
website. Some people say it was because Brad
couldn't find a parking space, others say it was
because Eric couldn't find a note. Or maybe it was
because Bob couldn't find Rochester! -What Gives?
JERRY'S
WORLD
Well its Valentines Day, and that means those McCarty Grandbrats will be buying all kinds of stuff for their Valentines. “Ohh, I just made a phone call and charged a bunch of flowers on my credit card to be delivered to you to show my love.” Just thinking about those stupid cupids makes my face redder than the $3.50 heart shaped candy box that they sell at Walmart.
Oh, those Sappy McCarty brats buy only the most expensive stuff for their Valentines. They’ll be getting those crappy Godiva chocolates and those Truffles with the soft chocolate inside. You can put a Baby Ruth on your dashboard with the defroster on and get the same effect. When I was a kid the only candy we had were those crappy, chalky, hard candy hearts with writing on them. The letters would be wiped off so all you could see would be “B- -INE”. It was like trying to play “Wheel of Fortune” with crappy candy. And not only did they taste bad, but you’d break a tooth trying to eat em. We had crappy hard candy that you couldn’t even eat, but we didn’t care….We Loved It!! Because we were happy with what we had!
And those mushy McCarty grandbrats will spend hours in front of the Hallmark store trying to pick out just the right Valentines Day Card. When I was a kid, we’d get a box of 500 Valentines Day Cards at Kmart for 49 cents. Then we’d give out the cards to everyone in our class. The cards had stupid pictures on them like a picture of a rocket ship with a card saying “You’re Out of This World”. Then I’d come home from school and my older brothers would make fun of me because I’d have a bunch of the same crappy cards from a bunch of guys in my class. My dad was the only smart one, he’d just take one of those cards and sign it “All my love and kisses, Bob ‘71” and give it to my Mom with some bubble bath. My Mom thought my Dad was the most romantic guy in the world. She’d say, “Your father thinks I’m out of this world!”. Sure it was a crappy card, but my Mom didn’t care, she loved it!!!
So this year, treat your Valentine right and give them an old fashioned Valentines Day present. And I guaranty your Valentine will have the time of her life sitting in bubble bath, with a chipped tooth, reading a crappy card and eating a melted Baby Ruth.
Happy Valentines Day !!
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THE COLD WAR
In honor of
President's Day, relive an important speech from President John
F. Kennedy.
The Cold War, often dated from 1945–1991, was a sustained state of political and military tension between powers in the Western Bloc, dominated by the United States with NATO and other allies; versus powers in the Eastern Bloc, dominated by the Soviet Union with the Warsaw Pact and other allies. This began after the success of their temporary wartime alliance against Nazi Germany, leaving the USSR and the US as two superpowers with profound economic and political differences. A neutral faction arose with the Non-Aligned Movement founded by Egypt, India, and Yugoslavia, this faction rejected association with either the US-led West or the Soviet-led East.
The Cold War was so named because the two major powers—each possessing nuclear weapons and thereby threatened with mutual assured destruction—did not meet in direct military combat. However, in their struggle for global influence they engaged in ongoing psychological warfare and in regular indirect confrontations through proxy wars. Cycles of relative calm would be followed by high tension which could have led to war. The most tense involved the Berlin Blockade (1948–1949), the Korean War (1950–1953), the Suez Crisis (1956), the Berlin Crisis of 1961, the Cuban Missile Crisis (1962), the Vietnam War (1959–1975), the Yom Kippur War (1973), the Soviet war in Afghanistan (1979–1989), the Soviet downing of Korean Air Lines Flight 007 (1983), and the “Able Archer” NATO military exercises (1983). The conflict was expressed through military coalitions, strategic conventional force deployments, extensive aid to client states, espionage, massive propaganda campaigns, conventional and nuclear arms races, appeals to neutral nations, rivalry at sports events, and technological competitions such as the Space Race. The US and USSR became involved in political and military conflicts in the Third World countries of Latin America, Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia. To alleviate the risk of a potential nuclear war, both sides sought relief of political tensions through détente in the 1970s.
In the 1980s, the United States increased diplomatic, military, and economic pressures on the Soviet Union, at a time when the communist state was already suffering from economic stagnation. In the mid-1980s, the new Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev introduced the liberalizing reforms of perestroika ("reconstruction", "reorganization", 1987) and glasnost ("openness", ca. 1985). This opened the country and its satellite states to a mostly peaceful wave of revolutions which culminated in the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, leaving the United States as the dominant military power. The Cold War and its events have left a significant legacy, and it is often referred to in popular culture, especially in media featuring themes of espionage and the threat of nuclear warfare.
