ED NOTE: Send me your questions or comments on the form or via email and I will answer them.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Belated Happy Birthday to Rick! I really enjoy listening to you Hollywood insiders. Rick, you know I love you bro', but you are so off base with your disdain of A Christmas Story.  But Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without your annual rant against the THE FUNNIEST HOLIDAY MOVIE OF ALL TIME! xoxoxo, Dino
ED NOTE: I personally don't understand a lot of things, like why Rick doesn't like "A Christmas Story" or like why Jerry suddenly gets a disc jockey voice when plugging our sponsors, or why Dino put hugs and kisses in front of your name on a letter sent to a dude???

Steve would like a double shot of hot Koko for his upcoming birthday:) -Mrs. Steve O
ED NOTE: Steve collected in Vegas along with a Whomper Junior!!!

It's hard to keep track of all these holidays. I mean, Christmas is a no-brainer. But the others? What would happen if, say, I would happen to forget Valentine's Day this month? Anything? -Often Belated in GR
ED NOTE: All I can say is that Margaret says that I better not miss Valentine's Day this year, after the big Martin Luther King day snafu with the wife. (Also you have to keep in good graces so that you can celebrate St. Patty's Day like a real Irishman)

OUR METRO READERS SPEAK

We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join or have served in the military, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest - kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be "Special Forces". Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

5. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

6. If you witness someone calling the Coast Guard"non-military", inform them of their mistake - and kick their ass.

7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

9. "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me - stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your ass!

10. "Flyboy" (*Air Force*), "Jarhead" (*Marines*), "Grunt" (*Army*), '"Squid" (*Navy*), "Puddle Jumpers" (*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.

11. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our Country would get it's ass kicked.

12. It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

13. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish --- disembowel them and then KICK THEIR ASS. AMEN TO THIS ONE!!!