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Well
it’s Halloween and that means those little grandbrats will be
getting ready for Trick or Treating.
Just thinking about those Goofy Goblins burns me more than
eating an entire package of Red Hots.
We had a lot better Halloweens when we were kids. |
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You can bet those
Neighborhood Nincompoops will have their Styrofoam tombstones and
fog machines out on their front lawns to make some fancy schmancy
Halloween Display. When I
was a kid, all we all had was a white cardboard skeleton we hung
on the door. And each
bone of that skeleton had a metal swivel thing so you could pose
it in any position. Sure,
the arms and legs would fall off and you’d have to tape them
back on and we ended up with a stiff cardboard skeleton with
yellowing tape all over it, but we didn’t care, we loved it. |
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And these
Jack-O-Losers will be carving their pumpkins with all kinds of
tools or maybe they will just paint them with fluorescent paint.
When we were kids, my Mom would carve the pumpkin with a
giant carving knife and could carve two eyes , a nose, and a mouth
before you could say Tate-Labianca.
Then she would put the pumpkin seeds on a cookie sheet with
tons of salt and we’d have Pumpkin Seeds to eat.
Sure she’d usually burn the Pumpkin seeds and they tasted
like Salty Ashes, but we didn’t care we loved it!
Because we were happy with what we had! |
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And you can bet
those Dorky Dads will dressing up as Pirates to hand out Candy to
all the rotten kids. When we
had Halloween, my brother DJ used to put on a hockey mask and
chase around kids with a gas powered Weed Wacker.
Sure most of them would start crying and run away, but we
didn’t care, we loved it! Because
there was more candy for us! |
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So
you decorate your house any way that you want and while you’re
giving away baby Snickers bars to a bunch of lazy neighborhood kids,
I will be eating burnt pumpkin seeds and trying to tape my cardboard
skeleton back together. Oh
yeah, and watch out for my gardener, he’s got his weed wacker and
is not happy.
Happy
Halloween!
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