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Well it’s June
and that means Father’s Day is coming up. Oh you can bet those
rotten McCarty Dads will be getting lots of crappy hand-made cards
made out of construction paper and a glue stick. But as far as
I’m concerned, that’s all they deserve! These Pathetic Pops
are nothing compared to my Dad. |
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These Over
Protective Papas strap their kids into their cars like they’re
taking a trip on the space shuttle. They’ll have car seats,
booster seats, lap belts, and God forbid you put a kid in the
front seat. When I was a kid my Dad let me sit on the front bench
seat of the Station Wagon right between him and my Mom. And if I
asked him to drive, he’d sit me on his lap and let me steer
while he smoked an unfiltered Pall Mall. Sure, it was dangerous
and I got lots of second hand smoke, but I didn’t care, I loved
it! Because I was having fun with my Dad. |
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And you can bet
those Lawn Chair Losers will be sitting on the sidelines watching
their kids play soccer, baseball, and flag football where everyone
plays and nobody loses. When I was a kid my Dad didn’t waste his
time watching us play, we’d all go into the basement in our
socks and play floor hockey. And my Dad didn’t take it easy on
anyone. He’d check us into the piano, the fruit cellar door, or
that big metal pole in the middle of the basement. Sure every game
ended with a fight and someone crying but we didn’t care we
loved it!! Because we got to spend time with our Dad. |
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And these Nature
Lovin’ Nincompoop Dads love to take their kids camping. Ewwww!
Let’s experience nature in a $40,000 mini-van and a $2,000 tent.
Fiddle Foey! When my Dad took us camping we just went into the
backyard and he’d throw a blanket over the Clothes Line and give
us a Mosquito Chaser. Sure we had to be on the lookout for hobos
peeing in the alley, but we didn’t care, we loved it! Because we
got to shine a flashlight at trees! |
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So you little
Grandbrats enjoy your Fathers Day with your crappy Dads. As for me
I’m having an old fashioned Fathers Day and I’m gonna take my
kids out for a day of driving around without seatbelts and playing
floor hockey, and then after that, we’re all gonna get some
mosquito chasers and go looking for hobos. Happy Fathers Day
!!
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