On December 27, the
McCarty Metro's own Mike McCarty decided to play in as many
local taverns would allow him in one night until he and his
guitar were actually denied. The answer is 7. Accompanied with
Kelly, Steve, and Ryan McCarty (and also Ben & Shannon
Toner for the Rochester leg of the tour), Mike used his boyish
charm to get the establishments to turn off the music and
televisions and allow him to play for the patrons... even
during Sunday Night Football. Mike was well received, and in
one case, even picked up a few tips from the
"ladies".
.
Mike at the Gathering Place
in Utica
Mike jams at Gus O'Connor's in
Rochester
and gets the crowd involved playing a little CCR
Mike performs in the men's room
at the Paint Creek Tavern
.
DATELINE:
CMACSWORLD.COM With the finish of the
2009-2010 NCAA college football season, two champions were
crowned. The Alabama Crimson Tide took the national championship
with their victory over the Texas Longhorns, and yours' truly,
Kelly McCarty (AKA Brad Savage took the season long Cmacsworld.com
football championship in picking the winners all season long.
Kelly had two perfect weeks during the season, and also led wire
to wire. This was his rookie year. Cmacsworld has run the event 8
years now.
COMING
UP...
THE
2010 D.M.G.C.
Dan McCarty
Golf Classic
To Benefit The
Michigan Lupus Alliance
DATELINE:
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE
Say what you will about anarchy, it's at least pretty simple. No one’s in charge. Mayhem rules. It's every man
(or woman) for themselves. On December 12th, Larry McCarty
joined over 500 other people, dressing up in Santa suits and
converging on downtown Nashville for the annual Santa Rampage.
They do it to spread holiday cheer (or you know, kinda drunken, rabble-rousing cheer).
Larry reports, "It was fun, crazy, and totally absurd..
and I don't remember a damn thing!”
.
DATELINE: LAS VEGAS,
NEVADA The Annual VBV took place from
January 7-10. Steve, Kelly, and Jerry McCarty, along with Matt S. joined up
with Wally and The Holy Grail and spent a great time in Las Vegas. A
highlight was being in the SAW suite at the Planet Hollywood.
Wonderful view, and lots of things in the suite from the movie
"Saw". Saturday was "Old Vegas" day as the
group spent the day enjoying the atmosphere of the way it used to
be in Las Vegas. Unfortunately though, as
always, as an accredited reporter, I have to abide by the old journalistic
rule and say that this is the extent of the reporting as "What Happens In
Vegas... Stays In Vegas!"
.
.
The view from the suite at
Planet Hollywood
Steve & Kelly do up old
Vegas in style
Steve, Kelly, & Jerry pose
before losing money
.
BEN
AROUND THE BLOCK
I'm an old fart!
Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts
are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the Star
Spangled Banner, Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and
sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.
Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal , Normandy and
Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War , the
Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping
Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .
.
If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you
pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old
Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.
Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make
certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children
and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.
Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag
unless it's about their children or grandchildren.
It's the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by
politician's, but by the young men and women in the military serving their
country.
This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of
responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.
You need us now more than ever.
Thank God for Old Farts!
.
A WINTER
STATISTIC
98% of
Americans say 'Oh S#!T!' before going into a ditch on a
slippery road. The other 2% are from Tennessee, and they
say 'Hold My Beer & Watch This!'
DATELINE:
MICHIGAN TRIVIA The current
slogan of Michigan is: Si Quaeris Peninsulam Amoenam Circumspice
(If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you.) I am
petitioning the Michigan Supreme Court to change it to one of the
following...
The one that looks like a mitten, you moron Visit Hell,
Paradise, and then Climax, all in the same day! The last line of
defense against Canada. Nearly went to war
with Ohio once and will do it again if they pull any funny
stuff Where the names of
high-toned suburbs needlessly end in “e”
More than just boarded up auto plants Where lousy teams
get new stadiums The orange barrel
state. Got fudge? Soda? We say pop
here, buddy! No riots since
1967. Canadian money
accepted. Yes, it gets even
colder than this. Probably north of
wherever you are. It’s called
snow. Get used to it. The snowshine
state.
.
DATELINE:
OAKLAND TOWNSHIP, MI
Jenna & Megan McCarty report that there
was a fight at the local candy store. Two
suckers got licked.
DATELINE:
HUDSONVILLE, MI
Ryan & Missy also report a fight at the
Hudsonville Laundromat. A washing machine beat
the crap out of a diaper.
DATELINE:
DOCTOR'S OFFICE
Some people's noses and feet are built
backwards: their feet smell and their noses
run.
DATELINE:
VALENCIA, CA
Evan McCarty didn't tell his mom and dad that
he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
2010
HANDBOOK
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food
that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey
is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead
invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her
mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are
simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.
Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. God heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank God for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
.
AMAZING
HOME REMEDIES
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
Avoid arguments with the females
about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers
~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure in your veins, but remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap placed on top of
your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a
large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life -
WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. If it
shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
If you can't fix it with a
hammer, you've got an electrical problem ..
NEW
CAR FOR 2010
The New GM (Government Motors) Proudly Introduces The 2010 Obama!
This car runs on hot air and bullcrap. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns. It comes complete with two teleprompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations. The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the happy owners. Comes in S, M, L, XL and 2XL It won't get you to work, but hey, there aren't any jobs anyway!
.
APPLE DOES IT AGAIN!!!
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant
that can store and play music. The iBOOB will cost from $499 to
$699, depending on cup and speaker size.
This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women
are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and
not listening to them.
WHY
GM ELECTRIC CARS ARE BAD
.
GONE
BUT NOT FORGOTTEN IN DECEMBER, 2009
Eddie
Fatu, 36, WWE wrestler under the name Umaga, heart attack.
Oral Roberts, 91, evangelist, founder of Oral Roberts University, complications from pneumonia.
Roy E. Disney, 79, executive of The Walt Disney Company, nephew of Walt Disney, stomach cancer. Alaina Reed
Hall, 63, actress (Sesame Street, 227), breast cancer.
Brittany Murphy, 32, actress (Clueless, King of the Hill, 8 Mile), cardiac arrest.
Dave Diles, 78, ABC sportscaster and author. Started
with Channel 7 in Detroit. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, 49, professional wrestler, throat cancer.
.
GONE
BUT NOT FORGOTTEN IN JANUARY, 2010
Teddy
Pendergrass, 59, soul singer, complications from colon cancer.
James Mitchell, 89, actor (All My Children), chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
Pernell Roberts, 81, actor (Bonanza; Trapper John, MD), pancreatic cancer.
Zelda Rubinstein, 76, actress (Poltergeist, Picket Fences), natural causes.
AND FINALLY...
.
DATELINE:
NBA? NFL?
EVEN IF YOU AREN'T A
SPORTS FAN, THIS IS VERY INTERESTING. GUESS WHICH
ORGANIZATION IS DESCRIBED HERE...
36 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 currently are defendants in lawsuits, and
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year
DATELINE: ROCHESTER
& UTICA'S OPEN "MIKE" NIGHT
The one that looks like a mitten, you moron
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
