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DATELINE:
ROYAL OAK, MICHIGAN
The 8th
annual Dan McCarty Texas Holdem Tournament is scheduled for
Thursday, February 19, 2015 at the Star Lanes in the Emagine
Theater in Royal Oak, Michigan. This year's event is to
raise money for UHY
Cares, which is an organization that gives back
to the local community, including helping individuals going
through personal emergencies or hardships. UHY Cares has
provided assistance to over 150 local charities and families
and continues to grow this list every year. Registration for
the event is at 6 pm and the games starts promptly at 7 pm.
There is a $100 buy-in with the chance for $50 re-buys. VIP
prizes for the finalists. Players must be 18 to play and
must be 21 to consume alcohol. Contact Jessica Dalessandro at
jdalessandro@uhy-us.com
or 586 843 2507 to save your spot! Cash, check or credit card contributions accepted in advance or at the door. Checks must be made payable to UHY Cares.
Hope to see everyone there!
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Sponsorship
opportunities are available. If interested, see
flyer below, and contact Jessica for more details
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DATELINE: LOST
WAGES, NEVADA
The McCarty brothers,
along with nephew Austin, and Tennessee 'brotha' Bob all went to
Las Vegas for a fun filled few days in January. All had a great
time, and other than the comments made in my Final Thought, this
reporter has no-comment and abides by the "What Happens In
Vegas... Stays In Vegas".
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| Some of the
group at Slots 'o Fun |
Not to worry
Karen... Mike didn't get bad herpes... it's pronounced 'HAIR PIECE' |
DATELINE: METRO
PIGSKIN PICKEM WINNER
After 17 regular
season games, and 4 playoff weeks culminating with the Super Bowl,
the McCarty Metro is proud to announce that Jerry McCarty won the title of
Pigskin Pickem Champion for 2015. Congratulations to Jerry, and
thank you to all who participated this season. You can
check out the entire season stats, and how everyone fared on our Pigskin
Pickem Page.
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IT'S A
WINTER WONDERLAND - FANTASY vs. REALITY
DATELINE: ROCHESTER,
MICHIGAN
Steve,
Kristen and Jenna went to the Rochester WinterFest for
some fun activities. In addition to lights, fireworks, and
fun for all, there was the sled hill, which Jenna enjoyed.
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DATELINE:
PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES
Here are some
of the travel destinations this past month from our
readers...
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Dear
Editor: Is Al Roker (Today Show) Dennis Mc?
I've never seen them together. Al's got a
hat on and looks zactly like Dudley. -Steve O
ED
NOTE: Steve O... You're forgetting that Al was
at Kevin & Stephanie's wedding (below). Bob
Lopez is sure he saw actor Sam Elliott in downtown Las
Vegas, wearing a blue glitter
shirt, beaded necklaces, and was drinking a yard
of blue slurpee.
Have you ever seen Brad Savage, Gerry Cooney, or
Sam Elliott together? |
 
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We always want to hear your questions, comments, rants,
or editorials.
Just submit them anytime during the month to to mccartymetro@gmail.com
for inclusion in the next issue.
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BUT NOT FORGOTTEN - THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED AWAY
SINCE THE LAST ISSUE |
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Jean Béliveau, 83, Hall of Fame hockey player (Montreal Canadiens).
Ken Weatherwax, 59, actor (The Addams Family), heart attack.
Mary Ann Mobley, 77, actress (Diff'rent Strokes, Falcon Crest) and television personality, Miss America (1959), breast cancer.
Norman Bridwell, 86, author and cartoonist (Clifford the Big Red Dog).
Bill Bonds, 82, TV news anchor (WXYZ-TV), heart attack. Christine
Cavanaugh, 51, voice actress (Rugrats, Dexter's Laboratory, Babe, Darkwing Duck).
Edward Herrmann, 71, actor (Gilmore Girls, The Practice, The Lost Boys), brain cancer. Donna
Douglas, 82, actress (The Beverly Hillbillies), pancreatic cancer.
Mario Cuomo, 82, politician, Governor of New York (1983–1994), heart failure. Stuart
Scott, 49, sports journalist (ESPN), cancer. Rod
Taylor, 84, actor (The Time Machine, The Birds, One Hundred and One Dalmatians, Inglourious Basterds), heart attack.
Roy Tarpley, 50, basketball player (UofM, Dallas Mavericks).
Taylor Negron, 57, comedian and actor (Angels in the Outfield, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Bio-Dome), cancer.
Ernie Banks, 83, Hall of Fame baseball player (Chicago Cubs).
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AND FINALLY... DATELINE: BORDER PATROL
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The Republicans winning the Senate is prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and live according to the Constitution.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, global warming activists, and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay."
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers blaring Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just keep coming.
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Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into electric cars and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves when the battery dies.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though, and some kale chips."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumours have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and study the Constitution.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, buying up all the Barbra Streisand CDs, and renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
THE McCARTY METRO WILL BE BACK
ON YOUR CYBERPORCH IN MARCH
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The
McCarty Brothers all traveled to Las Vegas for some after
Christmas fun.
