Well it’s September and that means those little McCarty grandbrats will be going back to school! I can picture those Pampered Pupils now with their fancy schmancy backpacks gettin’ driven all over kingdom come. Just thinking about those Learning Losers makes my butt hurt more than getting spanked by Mr. Rowan’s Board of Education. School was way tougher when I was a kid.

Oh these Technology Twits will have their Electronic Smart Phones with them so that they can have all the apps in the world to help them with school. When I was a kid all we had was a Pencil, Protractor, Compass, Slide Rule and about 500 round loose-leaf paper reinforcers. If we had a complicated question on our homework we did it the old-fashioned way, we asked our Mom. All we had were useless school supplies in a plastic pencil case with a broken zipper but we didn’t care, we loved it.

And homework is all not those Gooney Gamers do with their Smart Phones. You can bet they will be playing Angry Birds, Candy Crush, and doing the FaceSpace and the Tweeter. Fiddle Fooey! If we wanted to play with something in school, all we did was fold up a piece of loose leaf paper into a triangle football and kick with our fingers while some idiot one the other end of the table held his fingers in the shape of a goal post. We had to make boring games out of school supplies, but we didn’t care, we loved it. Because we were happy with what we had!

And you can bet those Senseless Softies will be all worried about the “bullying” in their schools. And if anyone calls anyone a name on the playground they’ll all hold hands and sing “Kumbaya” for an hour. When I was a kid, I got called names, laughed at, kicked, punched, and hit with belts and that was just by my older brothers in the backyard. We played games like "Hide the Belt". Everybody got bullied and we loved it!!

So you make sure you drive your kids to school in your air-conditioned cars with their smart phones and mushy feelings. As for me, I’m home-schooling my kids and we are going have an old-fashioned school like we used to. First we are going to play paper football and then we’re going outside to play “Hide the School Supplies” and you better hope I don’t find that Protractor!