Well, it’s Christmas and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be getting all kinds of fancy schmancy toys.  Just thinking about those Noel Ninnies makes me more wired than the outlet behind our Christmas Tree on Sussex.  When we were kids, we didn’t need these fancy Christmas presents and we were happy for it.

These Christmas Couch Potatoes will be getting lots of videos for Christmas.  “Ohhhhhh, let’s watch Frozen for the Bazillionth Time!”   When I was a kid we didn’t have Video on Demand, we didn’t have DVDs, and we didn’t even have Videotapes!  All we had was a GAF ViewMaster, which was a crappy plastic viewer you had to look into to see pictures of Mt. Rushmore.  Sure you had to load the paper disk with the photos on and it would bend or get stuck, but we didn’t care, we loved it!!

And you can bet those Greedy Gamers will be getting lots of Videogames for Christmas.  They’ll be getting Assassin’s Creed, Madden 25, and NBA 2K.  Great!  More reasons for me not to be able to watch my TV.  When I was a kid, we had “Intellivision” which was a crappy TV Video game that had crappy graphics and an “Intellivoice” add-on that sounded like Babe Ruth after his throat cancer.  Sure, our thumbs are permanently disfigured from the crappy disk controller, but we didn’t care, we loved it. 

And with the popularity of the Lego Movie, you can bet those Lego Losers will be leaving tons of Legos all of the floor for me to step on in my bare feet.   When we were kids we had cool building toys like Lincoln Logs, Erector Sets, and Krazy Ikes.  Krazy Ikes were plastic things that snapped together.  Sure they were choking hazards and one time DJ had to go to Dr. Fenner because he got one stuck in his nose, but we didn’t care, we loved it!

So you spoil your kids with expensive Christmas Presents this year.  But as for me I’m going to get me a bottle of Town Club Pop and watch “The 7 Wonders of the World” on my Viewmaster.  Then I’m going to pull out the Intellivision and play some “B-17 Bomber”!   Ow!!  I just stepped on a metal beam from my Erector Set!!!