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| Well it’s July and that means those McCarty Grandbrats will be trying to find ways to stay cool for the Summer. Just thinking of those Air-Conditioned Air Heads makes my butt burn more than going down the Stainless Steel Slide at Coyle Park. We were way better at keeping cool and it didn’t cost a million bucks. |
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These Water Park Weenies will be spending money like it’s going out of style to go down a Water Slide and watch a bunch of kids pee in a wave pool. When we were kids, we just walked out on the front lawn and ran through the sprinkler. And it wasn’t one of those fancy schmancy built in sprinklers either. It was a cheap, plastic Oscillating Sprinkler from K-Mart and we ran through it and had the time of our lives! Sure you might step on a bee but we didn’t care, we loved it!! |
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And you can bet those Ice Cream Idiots will be heading to Cold Stone Creamery for some Ice Cream. “Ohhhhh! I will have a cup of super expensive ice cream with crumbled up candy bars mashed in it.” Fiddle Foey!! When we were kids, the only ice cream we ever had was a 25 Cent Fudgesicle from the Ice Cream man and the only think that was imbedded in that crappy ice cream was the freezer burned cardboard carton that it came in. Sure those Fudgesicles tasted like dry ice and the minimum wage but we didn’t care, we loved it!!
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And these kids nowadays are getting fat because they are drinking sport beverages with sugar in them. They have there PowerAde, GatorAde, NitroWater, Vitaman Water, and Red Bull. When I was a kid, if you wanted something to drink you got a choice of two things. You got hose water or you got nothing! We would even bend the hose to regulate the flow. Sure we’d cut our mouths on the rusty hose but we didn’t care, we loved it. |
So, you spend the summer catering to every whim of your Overheated Hooligans. As for me, I’m going to have an old-fashioned summer, and if my kids want to cool off they can run through the sprinkler with a freezer burned popsicle. And if they want a drink they can suck on the sprinkler. But watch out for bees!!
Have a great summer!! |
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