THE BRAD & AUSTIN ART GALLERY

A LITTLE HOLIDAY HUMOR

What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

If Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If he hasn't started his paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him.
5. When you get back, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
9. Listen to a few songs from your MP3 player and that's it...I mean it! As soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.
10. Listen to the rest of the songs.
11. Rearrange all of your MP3s into alphabetical order.
12. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your professor, the course, MSU, and the world at large.
13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savor its special flavor.
15. Check the TV to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV is truly worthwhile.

16. Catch the last fifteen minutes of the news.
17. Phone a friend on the 3rd floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of today's news.
18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.
19. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
20. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
21. Open your door to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.
22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it.
24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
25. Lie face down on the floor and scream at the top of your lungs.
26. Leap up and write the paper.
27. Type the paper.
28. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write the paper.

HAND & FOOT PRINT TURKEY 

WHAT YOU NEED...

• Construction Paper in Fall Colors

• Scissors

• Glue

• Black Crayon or Marker

.

WHAT TO DO...

Take off your shoe and trace around it on brown paper. Cut out. Trace around your hand a total of five times on yellow, orange and red paper. Glue the hand cut outs behind the shoe cut out . Cut out a triangle shape for a beak in orange paper. Glue in place. Cut out a 1" circle on yellow paper. Cut it in half for feet. Glue in place.

5 little turkeys standing at the door,
One waddled off, and then there were 4. 

4 little turkeys sitting near a tree,
One waddled off , and then there were 3. 

3 little turkeys with nothing to do,
One waddled off, and then there were 2. 

2 little turkeys in the morning sun,
One waddled off, and then there was 1. 

1 little turkey better run away,
For soon it will be Thanksgiving Day.