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THE BEST OF
From Our September,
2003 Edition |
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 ll, it’s
back to school time and that means those little grand
brats will be getting school clothes for the next school
year. Oh, they’ll be spending hundreds of dollars on new
outfits so they can look like all the other dress-up
delinquents in school. Just thinking of those little
fashion misfits makes me wanna scream louder than one of
Kelly’s disco shirts.
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These
kids nowadays read magazines or watch TV to see what all
the kids are wearing. “Ooooh, I want wear a big pair of
baggy pants and a big T-shirt like Lil’ Romeo.” I bet
if Lil’ Romeo wore poop on his head, these style stooges
would stand in line for it. When I was a kid, if I wanted
to know what I’d be wearing to school next year, I’d
look at what my brother Kelly was wearing, and he got his
clothes from Larry and Larry got his from DJ. I wore
7-time hand-me-downs, but I didn’t care I loved it!
Cause I was happy with what we had.
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And
when it comes to shopping, those little Gucci grandbrats
will walk all over the mall looking for clothes to wear from
every store you ever heard of. When I was in school we had a
choice of two places to get our clothes. You either went to
K-Mart or you went nowhere! And we would come out of that
little brown outhouse dressing room and my mom would tug on
the pants to see if they fit. And if she could fit her hand
in the waistband they were too big! I wore size “Slim
16” for 5 years, but I didn’t care, I loved it...
because, they were 100 percent polyester!
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And
these kid’s nowadays get the most expensive athletic
shoes. They’ll be buying the $200 Air Free Flight Street
Hoop-de-doopers, because that’s what Allen Iverson wears.
When I was growing up, the only chance I had to wear NBA
shoes was if the entire NBA decided they were going to wear
crappy cheap plastic soled K-Mart gym shoes. My mom would
always get the shoes from the big tub of shoes at the end of
the aisle. Those shoes were so cheap that they didn’t even
come with a box. They were attached together with some piece
of plastic string, so they didn’t get mixed up with all
the other crappy shoes. If the temperature got over 90
degrees, the sidewalk would make your plastic soles melt,
and we didn’t even think about putting your feet down and
dragging them to stop your bike, because your shoes would
just fall apart. But we didn’t care we loved those crappy
shoes, because they looked good with the crappy pants.
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So,
this year, don’t take your kids to the mall! Just give
them your hand me down parachute pants or send them to
K-Mart.
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