ll, it’s March and that means those McCarty Grandbrats have their keisters parked on their couches and are watching Television. Just thinking of those Lazy Lima Beans makes me more angry than Lou Gordon interviewing the KKK. We had a lot more fun watching television when I was a kid.

You can bet those Lazy Losers will be sitting on their plush sectional couches with throw pillows and watching TV. When I was a kid, I knew where my seat was to watch TV…… It was on the floor! We had one couch for 3 people and that was for my Mom, my Dad, and one lucky “Big Guy” to sit on. I would be laying on the floor while my Dad sat on the couch smoking Pall Malls, drinking an Altes Beer, and telling me that I made a “better door than a window.” Sure, us little guys looked like soldiers crawling into enemy lines so we wouldn’t block anyone’s view, but we didn’t care, we loved it!

And those Technical Twits will be using their Universal Remotes to control their 96” Flat Panel TV’s. When I was a kid, all we had was 18” Magnavox Black & White Console TV and our remote control was a pair of Vice Grips to turn the channel because the plastic Channel Knob was broken. 

I can picture those Entertainment Eggheads now switching between their 220 Cable Stations, 3 Video Games, and 100’s of Pay per Views. When I was a kid, all we had were channels 2, 4, 7, 9, 50, 56,and 62. Sure sometimes my Dad would have me put a coat hanger and aluminum foil on the rabbit ears antenna to try to get the Detroit Lions game on Channel 3 from Cleveland, but I didn’t care, I loved it. 

So you let those slumbering sloths lounge all over their family rooms at watch whatever they want. As for me, I’m going to get a black & white TV and watch reruns of Rita Bell’s Prize Movie. And I’m getting a 3 person couch and I’m sitting right in the middle of it, because I’m a big guy now!

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