I Want a Ribbon

By Jerry McCarty

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I have bone cancer and I feel swell

But I wish I had a ribbon to wear on my lapel

So I went to the internet to find the answer

But it turns out there is no color for my cancer

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Breast Cancer is Pink and everyone knows that

Liver Cancer is Green and Skin Cancer is Black

Kidney Cancer is Orange and Lung Cancer is White

And even Carcinoid Cancer is a Zebra Stripe

And of all the colors in the Spectrum

They use Dark Blue for cancer of the Rectum

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I used to feel good, but now I feel alone

Because there is no color for Cancer of the Bone.

...AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

Nurse (trying to hook up an IV on me): “Gee Mr. McCarty you are making this really hard on me. Your veins are so bad this is going to take me 4 or 5 tries.”

Me: “Technically, I think I’m making it a little harder on me than you.”

Me: “Oh yeah, how’s he doin?”

Jay Leno: “He died in 6 Months.”

(Awkward Pause)

Me: “Couldn’t you have lied and told me he just finished running a marathon or something?”

Metro Readers
Fighting Cancer

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David Lipinski

Barbara Calati Guzdial

Barbara Calati

Jerry McCarty

CANCER CHARITIES
YOU CAN SUPPORT

American Cancer Society

St. Judes Children’s Research Hospital