ll, it’s October and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be getting ready for Halloween. Just thinking about those Dressed up Dingbats makes me hotter than wearing a plastic mask with no air holes. We had way better Halloween’s when I was a kid.

I’m sure some of those Internet Idiots will be dressed up like Pokemon Go Trainers. Like it wasn’t bad enough when we thought you were just nerds on your iPhones, now you got to dress up and prove it. When I was a kid you got a choice of 2 things to dress up as. You were a hobo or you were nothing. Sure, my mom would burn my face by rubbing ashes on my skin, but we didn’t care, we loved it.

And you can bet those Movie Watching Morons will be carving their pumpkins to look like BB-8 from Star Wars. When we were kids we made our pumpkins look like Jack-O-Lanterns. Two triangles for eyes, one upside down triangle for a nose, and a crooked line for a mouth. Sure after you lit the candle, the top would cave in and the entire house would smell like burnt pumpkins, but we didn’t care we loved it.

And those Healthy Choice Hallo-weenies will be having all kinds of healthy and safe candy.  “Ewwww, we would prefer healthy fruit snacks or a gluten free rice cake.” Fiddle Fooey!! When I was a kid we ate gummy, sticky, chocolaty, candy with peanuts and if you had an allergy, too bad!  Sure after Halloween every kid had cavities and a sty in their eye, but we didn’t care, we loved it.

So you have your fancy schmancy Halloween. As for me, I’m having an old fashioned Halloween like we used to. I’m dressing up like a hobo and giving away chocolate covered Juju Bees, and if you want to find my house, I’ll be in the one that smells like a burnt pumpkin.

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