Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. This is Bob "Spring Daffodils" Hope, and I wanna tell you, things have been wild this spring around the McCarty family...

How about Kelly McCarty having all the grandkids over at his house? Wasn’t that something? I haven’t seen that many people pooping in their pants at that house since Kelly’s last Super Bowl Party. Isn’t that wild?

How about that Megan McCarty being elected into the French National Honor Society? Isn’t that wild? I have seen the French so happy to see a McCarty since Uncle Eddie stormed the beach at Normandy in WWII. Isn’t that something?

And how about Jerry McCarty’s hair growing back? Isn’t that something? I haven’t seen anyone that won’t shut up about “Hair” since the Cowsills in 1969. Isn’t that wild?

How about Larry McCarty in a German Restaurant trying to figure whether to use the “Herren” or “Damen” Bathroom. Isn’t that wild? I haven’t seen anyone that confused on what bathroom to use since Caitlin Jenner. Isn’t that something?

How about that Amanda Westfall McCarty setting a Personal Record in weightlifting 285 pounds in the deadlift? Isn’t that something? I haven’t seen anyone carry that much dead weight since *NSYNC toured with Joey Fatone. Isn’t that wild?

How about that Megan McCarty getting a job at a farm market? Isn’t that wild? I haven’t seen anyone enjoy working with fruits that much since the manager of the Village People. Isn’t that something?

How about that upcoming McCarty Metro Film Contest? Isn’t that something? I haven’t been anticipating that many bombs since “Free Falafel Day” in Paris. Isn’t that wild?

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