The McCarty Metro - Jerry's World

ll I just had surgery on my Achilles Tendon and I have spent a month filling out forms, paying deductibles, getting referrals, seeing specialists, going to pharmacies, and attending rehab. Now my foot feels fine but all this red tape makes my butt hurt more than a prostate exam by Doc Oz. When I was a kid, we didn’t go through all of this rigamarolle. My Mom took care of us the old fashioned way!

Nowadays, they have all of these fancy schmancy casts and braces. Ooooh! This is lightweight, fiberglass, and reinforced with titanium. Fiddlefoey!! When I was a kid if you broke a finger my mom would take care of it with a Popsicle Stick and a roll a masking tape. And you didn’t need no fancy painkillers, you just ate the Popsicle. Sure my brother Rick’s fingers look like a bad tinker toy project, but we didn’t care, we loved it!!

And nowadays these doctors love to prescribe fancy medicines that nobody can pronounce. Al-Butual, Ana-Kinral, Fab-Razyme, Feno-Profin, and Flo-Max. It sounds like roll call at Mackenzie High School! When I was a kid, you got a choice of two medicines. You got Mecurichrome or you got nothing!! My mom would put that Mecuricome on cuts, scrapes, and sunburn. Sure, I had more Mercury in me than a River Rouge Walleye, but I didn’t care, I loved it!

And my Mom knew all sorts of remedies that you didn’t even need medicine for. A mosquito bite; you just put a little vinegar on it. A burn; you put butter on it. And if you had a toothache; a little clove oil. Sure half the time we ended up smelling like a bad Greek Salad, but we didn’t care we loved it!

So you can go ahead and get your Obama Care because I’m sure when the government runs things, there will only be twice as many forms to fill out. As for me, I’m getting My-Mom-O-Care and I’m going to be just fine. All you get is a roll of masking tape and some coupons to the A & P.

Hope you feel better!!