ll it’s September and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be getting ready to go back to school where they will sit around and do nothing. Just thinking about those pathetic pupils burns me more than the Bunsen burners in Mrs. Korinski’s Science Class. School was way better when we were kids.

Those Wimpy Weasels will be all signing the “Anti-Bullying Pledge.” “I hereby promise not to make fun of anybody because of their behavior, appearance, race, or sexual orientation.” Fiddle Fooey! If anybody signed that when I was a kid, they’d of got an Atomic Wedgie. Back then, if somebody was different we made fun of them until they knocked it off. Sure I ended up getting Swirlies and Wedgies, but we didn’t care, We loved it. Because we were just happy there was no poop in the toilet.

And these Stylish Students nowadays like to dye their hair “Blue”, so they can show their “individuality.” When I was a kid, I spent 4 years trying to blend in with all the other loser kids. The last thing we wanted was to stand out. The only time I ever had blue hair was when they used Tidy-Bowl before a Swirlie. Sure nobody was special, but we didn’t care, we loved it!! Cause it meant everybody was special.