It just dawned on me that we never got stockings as kids. Why now does everyone get filled stockings? -Feeling neglected in therapy
ED NOTE: You did get stockings on Christmas. They were for your Mom with the extra large bath beads marked from Dad and the boyz.

Another year's worth of Metros! Where does the time go? Seems like only yesterday Editor Dennis was under the steps cranking out the Metro with carbon paper. How many years has the Metro been around, and how many years have you been doing this? Along with all your brothers and friends, I thank you for your efforts, and hope you and your family have a great 2011. (This is the part where you and Margaret stand by the Christmas tree, as the townsfolk gather to bring you money to make up for Uncle Billy losing the McCarty Metro money to Mr. Potter.) -Mike
ED NOTE: Thanks for the Blast. The Metro has been around for 45 years now, and I have been at the helm for the past 18 years. I will not be standing by a Christmas tree, but I would just like to say MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU OLD SAVINGS AND LOAN BUILDING. And by the way, my teacher once told me that whenever you hear a bell ring, you have done something to hurt the family.

I have been watching your different Jib Jab videos. I'm trying to figure out which of those characters is Jib and which one is Jab? -Confused
ED NOTE: Just like Tabo and Jabo, or Brad Savage and Eric Swan, the first one... Jib... is the good looking one.

Don't lie, you liked Can't Stop the Music from the first time you saw Steve Guttenberg being a DJ.  They should have added a part where for their first concert they make a light show out of some metal storage shelves. -Jer 
ED NOTE: Ok.. Ok... You got me. I formed my life after the Steve Guttenberg role, and I love the metal shelves. The only thing I never did was meet the Village People. My only claim to fame while disc jockeying was trying to make the clown dance, and licking cds that my record boy stained with chicken grease from the buffet.

I participated in my first "Black Friday". I hit the stores at midnight, then at 4:00, 5:00, and back out at 8:00 until 6:00pm. Several days later, I'm still exhausted. Do you have any suggestions to catch up on the sleep I missed out on? -Pooped on Cyber Monday
ED NOTE: You know the old saying on the day after Thanksgiving.... Once you go black, you tend to have a cyber bowel movement on Monday. Get some sleep my friend.

I've got a strand of lights that is out on the tree. Any quick tips on how to find the burned out bulb? -Shocked in TN
ED NOTE: Throw it away. Just ask my older brother.

OUR METRO READERS SPEAK

Let me get this straight. We're going to be "gifted" with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don't, Which purportedly covers at least ten million more people, without adding a single new doctor, but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents, written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that didn't read it but exempted themselves from it, and signed by a President who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, for which we'll be taxed for four years before any benefits take effect, by a government which has already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's broke!!!!! 'What the hell could possibly go wrong?'