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THE BEST OF

From Our  March 2006 Edition

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ll, I just heard that both Mike McCarty and Kelly McCarty will be buying new cars in the next month. Those brothers of mine are getting so spoiled that I bet they will be getting some fancy schmancy automobile with all the latest options. Just thinking about those driving disasters makes me hotter than the radiator cap on Larry McCarty’s 1969 Plymouth Duster. Those motoring McCartys are so out of touch they don’t even remember what it was like with their first car.

I bet whatever car those gear head geeks buy will have every option known to man. They’ll have CD players, cruise control, navigation systems, video screens, satellite radio, and iPod connectors. Fiddle Fooey! When I was a kid we bought cars with no options on them at all. My first car was a 1973 Chevy Nova with AM radio, hand operated windows, and a map in the glovebox. Later I added an FM converter so I could pick up chicks. If you wanted cruise control on that car, you had to wedge the ice scraper between the front seat and the gas pedal. Sure, the sound system sounded like crap and the ice scraper would slip off sometimes, but we didn’t care, it had a 350 V-8 engine and ran on regular gas.

So, you be sure and see Mike and Kelly’s new cars. And while they’re trying to figure out the navigation system, I’ll be driving around in my Nova with 11 guys, looking at a map, and trying to get a good station on the FM converter.

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