ll, Well it’s February and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be doing their crappy school projects! I can picture those “Do-Nothing Nerds” now sitting around while their parents do all the work. When I was a kid, we had way better school projects.

I can picture these Crafty Creeps now showing their parents the list of things they need for their projects. “Ewww, these should all be things around the house, I need burlap, pipe cleaners, and pair of Googly Eyes……” Fiddle Fooey! I don’t even know anyone that smokes a pipe and I sure don’t have Googly Eyes laying around. When we were kids, we made our school projects out of Milk Cartons, Coffee Cans, and Cigarette Butts. Sure, every project smelled like sour milk and spit, but we didn’t care, we loved it!!

And these Technology Twits will be researching their projects on their fancy schmancy Computers, iPads, and iPhones. When I was a kid, all we had was the 1958 Edition of the Colliers Encyclopedia. If it happened it after 1958, it didn’t exist. Sure, my reports were always a little outdated, like my 1973 report on the “Flags of the 48 States,” but I didn’t care, I loved it!

And you can bet those Stupid Students will have their projects done “originally” to show their “creativity.” When I was a kid we passed around projects from brother to brother like they were the measles. I submitted a science fair project once on the Human Eye that had been handed down all the way from my big brother, Mike McCarty. I could tell how old it was old because the silhouette of the human head used to show the eye was John F. Kennedy. We would just put a sticker over our brother’s name and then write our name on the new sticker, and no one was the wiser! Sure, after going through all 8 McCarty brothers that project had more stickers plastered on it than a K-Mart Blue Light Special, but we didn’t care we loved it!

So, you’ve got a choice. You can stay up all night working with your rotten kids on their school projects, or you can do an old-fashioned school project like we used to! Just get a poster board, and glue on a Coffee can, cigarette butts, and a Tang canister, and call it “A Boys Life in the 70s” and they’ll love it!