Dear Editor. This two-months-in-one July issue threw off my internal time clock. Is this August or September or April? -Twilight Zone dweller
ED NOTE: Tough to say. You wrote your question in August for the September issue, and April showers may come your way. They bring the flowers, that bloom in May.

Dear Editor. Love the Metro. It seems to be very well edited for spelling mistakes. Have you ever made any serious typographical errors? -Laryr
ED NOTE: Thanks to my wife Margaret, most of my glaring spelling mistakes are caught and fixed before we go online. However, she is not with me at work. The letters T and G on the keyboard are very close to each other. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email to the school board with the phrase "Regards" again.

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I was visiting Cancun, Mexico on official business last month and someone hurled a large amount of vomit in my sunroof. This is only the second time in my life this has ever happened to me. -Senator Richard A. Gephardt
ED NOTE: If it was the black vomit, all I can tell you Dick is that it's another tequila sunrise starin' slowly 'cross the sky, said goodbye

Dear Editor. I want to get my girlfriend a nice gift. I was looking at our local Kay Jewelers. What would you suggest I get to say "I love you", but without any implications to the idea of marriage? -A McCarty Grandbrat who is not ready for commitment
ED NOTE: Actually, I disagree with the Kay Jewelers advertising. I think that more kisses begin with Coors than Kay.

I just want you to know that because your son and daughter-in-law are having 3 receptions, don't expect me to send three times the presents. I mean do they really expect $15? -Aunt Kate
ED NOTE: Play the ball as it lies Aunt Kate. And by the way Shooter, you can expect Chris and Amanda in the parking lot. 
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