The McCarty Metro - Jeff Foxworthy's You Might Want To Think About Retiring From The Grand Rapids Press If...

After 29 years at the Grand Rapids Press,
Jeff Foxworthy made an appearance to give his reasons why Mike McCarty should retire.
.

Will The Real Jeff Foxworthy, Please Stand Up

...The bottom drawer of your desk is filled with Carbon Paper

...Your personal dictionary is personally autographed to you by both Merriam and Webster.

...You remember Larry King when he was a cub reporter for the Miami Herald

...You’re disappointed that the Office Pop Machine stopped selling Grape NeHi

...You find yourself constantly explaining to the current writers what a typewriter was

...You go through tubes of Ben-Gay faster than tubes of Brylcream.

...You had ink wells in your elementary school desk

...You ran on the field and ripped up sod after the Tigers won the Pennant – in 1968!!

...You think the Wii is the #5 dish at Wing Lee’s Chop Suey Your first car was a 1961 Corvair

...It takes you 10 minutes to stand upright when you get up from the editing desk.

...You are the only one in the Newsroom that knows that Tootie and Muldoon are not strippers.

...You think FaceBook is the book of Mug Shots at the Grand Rapids Police Department.

...You have a dish of candy on your desk with Mary Janes and Squirrels in it.

...You mention you are going to ride your bike into work and you notice people starting an office pool.

...You have a Rolodex that has phone numbers that start with words like Belvedere-84201

...Your co-workers constantly warn you when they are going to run the microwave.

...You are the only one in the newsroom who knows that Beaver Cleaver is not a new kitchen chopper by the makers of Sham-wow