3.
I am a window, I am a lamp, I am clouded,
I am shining, and I am colored; set in
white, I fill with water and overflow. I
say much, but I have no words. What am I? Answer
4.
What is the
only vegetable or fruit that is never sold
frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in
any other form but fresh. Answer
5. What
number fits in all of these words or
phrases below?
Deck
Year
Vietnam
Rock Lobster
Singing in the Rain
METRO
CAPTION CONTEST Give us a great or funny caption
for this photo
LAST MONTH'S
SUBMITTED CAPTIONS
I've totally demolished this diaper and it still doesn't smell as bad as Grandpa Kelly's underpants. It's about time
someone wrote about this.
Somebody
stole my ice cream
What do you mean Brad Savage and the Cockroaches are having a reunion? This blows!
Olivia took
my blankie!
.
METRO SECRET
CELEBRITY
Can you name this months'
secret celebrities?
LAST
MONTH ANSWER
CHER .
Congratulations: Eric
,
MCCARTY METRO WORDS OF
WISDOM...
.
.
.
Here are two gents who read the McCarty Metro earlier, and are now getting the
humor...
.
..
.
METRO
BACK TO SCHOOL CRAYON CHOICES
I don't think Crayola will carry these...
WHAT THE
HECK IS THAT??? Can you guess WTH
this is?
.
.
FIRST DAY
BACK TO SCHOOL...
ASK YOUR
ENGLISH TEACHER ABOUT THESE...
There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. And
while no one knows what is in a hot dog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.
English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbread s, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work
slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pigs are neither from Guinea nor are they pigs.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't
ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two geese. So one
moose, two meese? Is cheese the plural of choose? One mouse, two mice. One louse, two lice.
One house, two hice? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck or car and send cargo by
ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on
parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites?
How can the weather be hot as heck one day and
cold as heck another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. You
get in and out of a car, yet you get on and off a bus. When the stars are out, they are visible, but
when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
LAST MONTH'S ANSWER...
...BACON
Congrats to: Jerry
NEWEST CANDIDATE
FOR PRESIDENT...
.
REMEMBER...
OUR WRITERS ARE OUR READERS!
The success
of the Metro relies on our subscribers and readers. I
encourage everyone to send an article or any other type of
submission to keep the Metro fresh and strong each month.
You can submit on any link in this issue, or send an email to
mccartymetro@gmail.com
and see your name as a contributor to our family.
Editors: Kelly
& Margaret McCarty
Writers & Submitters:
Adam Allen, Bob Dantzer, Lance Devous, Kathy Brown
Johnson, Rick Farmiloe, Kelli Maroney, Austin McCarty, Brad McCarty, Jerry McCarty, Kelly McCarty,
Larry McCarty, Margaret McCarty,
Mike McCarty, Steve McCarty, Gwenda Perez, Todd Rambo,
Carl Rolland, Chris & Bev
Rzepka, Brad Savage, Lake Speed, Eddie Stein, Paul
Stevens, Eric Swan, Sara Zimmerman