ll, it’s the 4th of July and that means that those little McCarty Grandbrats will all be heading to Uncle Steve’s house for an Independence Day Picnic. Just thinking about those Patriotic Pea Brains burns me more than picking up the wrong side of a sparkler! We had way better 4th of July’s when I was a kid.

You can bet that Steve and Kristen will have lots of delicious food for those Hungry Hooligans and they will be cooking it on their Weber Premium Summit Gas Grill with 4 Burners, 50,000 BTUs, and an Extra-Large Grilling Area. When I was a kid, all my Dad had was 12” by 6” Hibachi Grill. Sure, that grill could only hold about 4 hot dogs and my Dad would put about a gallon of lighter fluid on the Kingsford Charcoal Briquettes, but we didn’t care we loved it. 

And then after they eat, those Entertainment Starved Stooges will be playing lots of games in Steve & Kristen’s backyard. They will be playing Volleyball, Badminton, Corn Hole, Horse Shoes, and Water Balloon Toss. When we were kids you had a choice of two things. You could play Lawn Jarts or you played nothing. The Lawn Jarts had a sharp metal tip on them and every game would end with someone getting a jart stuck in their bare feet, but we didn’t care, we loved it!

And when it gets dark, Uncle Steve will launch lots of illegal fireworks that he bought from Tennessee. He’ll have Bottle Rockets, News Transmitters, Fountains, and Mortars. When I was a kid, all we had was a roll of caps and a hammer. Sure, once in a while we’d find a fizzer and hit that with the hammer, but we didn’t care, we loved it!

So you have a good time eating Uncle Steve out of house and home. As for me, I’m staying in California and going to have an old fashioned Fourth of July like we used to. And after I breathe in a lot of carcinogens from the lighter fluid and the burnt hot dogs, I’m going to look for some Fizzers.