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This is Beijing Bob Hope and I want to tell you I had a great time at the Olympics this year. 

Hey Ladies and Gentlemen, how about that pollution in China? I haven’t seen air quality that bad since Kelly McCarty got the runs after eating 2 dozen chicken wings. Isn’t that wild?

And I wanna tell ya, I watched the entire 4 Hour Opening Ceremony. Wasn’t that something? I haven’t seen any thing that long and boring since Larry stopped making videos.

And ladies and gentlemen, how about that Michael Phelps? Isn’t he wild? I haven’t seen anyone go that fast in the water since the McCarty’s found what turned out to be a hot dog floating in the pool on Sussex . Isn’t that Something?

And did you see those Chinese Female Gymnasts? I haven’t seen that many 10 year old Asian girls since the finals of the California State Spelling Bee. Isn’t that something?

I wanna tell you I haven’t seen that much controversy over age since Kelly McCarty entered the Parks and Recreation 12-14 Year-old Softball throw with a Fu Manchu. Isn’t that wild?

And Ladies and Gentlemen, did you see the US Relay Teams dropping the batons during the relays? I haven’t seen that many things dropped since they fielded 4 McCartys in the outfield against the Hi-Speeds at Heilmann Park . Isn’t that wild??

And finally, how about the ladies sand volleyball team winning the Gold medal in the pouring rain. I haven't seen that much wet sand on a person since Jerry McCarty tried to dig a tunnel to China in the sandbox at Coyle Park.

Good Night Ladies and Gentlemen!!