Dear Editor, After reading Jerry's World, I realized the McCarty boys may have a class action lawsuit against the makers of Butch Wax for leading to premature baldness.  Your thoughts? -Ain't got no dome
ED NOTE: It wasn't the Butch Wax. It was the Levi Strauss  (genes)

Hey Jed, Any truth to the rumor you struck oil in the backyard while drilling your well? And a follow-up question ... is drilling your well a sexual phrase? -Granny
ED NOTE: Well weeee doggies. Actually we struck a septic system. Crap that is... Texas Pee

Dear Editor,  While I am busting my butt delivering this rag you call a newspaper, I discovered that you are renovating the McCarty Metro Corporate Office to include a gym and a sauna. This is exactly what is wrong with Corporate America. While I am freezing my butt off delivering your November Edition, I hope you slip on your treadmill and die!! -A concerned Metro carrier
ED NOTE: Not to burst your bubble, but the McCarty Metro went on-line 10 years ago and let all the carriers go. You, my friend, have been freezing your butt delivering the Smylnycky Sentinel. Didn't you notice the headlines that Kill The Frog..... well she killed another frog.