The McCarty Metro - Dateline News

Dateline News

Here's What's Happening...

DATELINE: BEND, OREGON
Amanda Westfall and Chris McCarty have received confirmation of their official wedding date of June 20, 2009 at the Iberostar Paraiso Hotel near Playa del Carmen, Mexico!!! They will send out an official save the date once they get more information on travel but mark your calendars! Chris and Amanda are moving to Bend, Oregon in early July. Amanda starts work August 1 in her podiatry practice. Her mom is planning a July family get together when Chris' family is in town so the families can meet before the wedding.

DATELINE: ROCKVILLE, MD
Matthew Rzepka has graduated from Wooten High School in Rockville. Matt is the son of Chris and Beverly Rzepka, and brother of Tina. The graduation ceremony was held June 4th at Constitution Hall in Washington DC. Congratulations Matt, and good luck as you continue your education at Michigan State University.

GOLF TOURNAMENT THANKS FROM MIKE McCARTY:

Good to see everybody at the golf tournament. Had a great time there, and so did the rest of my Mackenzie High alumni team -- Mike Dakesian, Steve Truman and Brad Mathers. We came in 2 under par. It also was good to see another Mack High classmate, Roger Mahlmeister, who fielded a team. Glad to see Ryan and his team again. I think they had an especially good time at Friday night karaoke. And thanks to Missy, Jill, Erin and friends at the betting hole -- $813 for the Lupus Foundation. Awesome! And thanks to Margaret and Kristen for helping out at check-in. Special thanks to Karen, who came in for the luncheon before flying out to Baltimore, and Mom, who came to the luncheon and put up Larry and me. And, of course, it was good seeing my brothers at the tourney -- Rick, Larry, Kelly, Jerry and Steve. And Kevin and Scott, thanks for coming in again. And thanks to all the friends of the McCartys who turned out to golf. It was great having you there. Also: Jerry, thanks for pickin' with me during the golf weekend. I'm looking forward to doing that on your patio in the fall. Should I bring earplugs for the neighbors?

BIG JUNE FOR THE GR/MD McCARTYS
The weekend of the Dan McCarty Golf Classic also was big weekend for the Grand Rapids and Maryland McCartys. On Friday night, the staff of GR's Immanuel-St. James Lutheran School feted Karen McCarty at a retirement party. She received many good wishes, gifts and kudos for her 10 years as ISJ's principal and another 10 as teacher. It was a good run, Karen! Congratulations! Then, on Saturday morning, Karen and Jill drove down for the golf tournament luncheon. Then they flew out to Maryland along with Ryan and Missy to be on hand for Gracie Rae McCarty's baptism Sunday at Valley Presbyterian Church in Lutherville, Md. Gracie's parents, Andy and Ann, were gracious hosts along with Gracie's brothers, Sam and Max. Congratulations to all

Karen at her retirement party

Grand Rapids
Only French Restaurant

KIDS....
Make Ice Cream in a Bag
Parental supervision is recommended

Milk can become ice cream in 5 minutes! This homemade ice cream in a bag is a summertime delight for kids and adults alike.

Here's what you'll need:
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup milk or half & half
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
6 tablespoons rock salt
1 pint-size Ziploc plastic bag
1 gallon-size Ziploc plastic bag
Ice cubes

Here's how to make it:
Fill the large bag half full of ice, and add the rock salt. Seal the bag. Put milk, vanilla, and sugar into the small bag, and seal it. Place the small bag inside the large one and seal again carefully. Shake until mixture is ice cream, about 5 minutes. Wipe off top of small bag, then open carefully and enjoy!

July Review... Burger King Steak House Burger
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After seeing much hype on television commercials, I decided to try the Burger King Steak House burger. In the past, I have been disappointed with BK's specialty burgers like the Western Whopper, and the Big King. The Steak House was no exception. The meat was burnt, there was a large glop of lard, and I had to force it down. Burger King... stick with the regular Whopper. Stay out of the kitchen with the specialty sammiches.

Now... you'll have to excuse me while I get a colonoscopy to clean out my system.

DATELINE: GEORGIA
Brad Savage & The Cockroaches have got some competition down South. That's Lance DeVous brother, Larz DeVous on the drums with his band "Fat White Cracker". Larz is working in Georgia until next year. He and the guys are having fun being rock stars at night.

The McCarty Metro Wishes You A
Safe & Happy Independence Day

METRO STRESS TEST

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate. Read the full description before looking at the picture. The picture is of 2 identical dolphins. It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing. Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.

View The Picture

DATELINE: BIRTHDAY REMINDER...
On July 23, we celebrate a special birthday! Monica Lewinsky turns 35. Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth. They grow up so fast, don't they?

*The McCarty Metro Takes A Look Do's & Don'ts*
DO... Turn Off Your Cellphone At A Funeral Play Video	DON'T... Fall For The Old "Free Beer" Decoy Play Video	DON'T... Drink & Dance Do one or the other but not both Play Video

DATELINE: WASHINGTON DC
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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DATELINE: TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Ever call for technical support for your computer, and you end up getting George, a man who sounds like Apu from the Simpson's cartoon show. George has a heavy Indian accent. Well, this is India! It's where you call when you have a problem with your computer.


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HOUSEHOLD TIP

I've been using aluminum foil and Saran Wrap for more years than I care to remember. Great stuff, but sometimes it can be a pain.

You know, like when you are in the middle of doing something and you try to pull some foil out and the roll comes out of the box. Then you have to put the roll back in the box and start over. The darn roll always comes out at the wrong time. Well, I would like to share this with you.

Yesterday I went to throw out an empty Reynolds foil box and for some reason I turned it and looked at the end of the box. And written on the end it said, "Press here to lock end". Right there on the end of the box is a tab to lock the roll in place. How long has this little locking tab been there? Then I looked at a generic brand of aluminum foil and it had one, too. I then looked at a box of Saran wrap and it had one too! I can't count the number of times the Saran warp roll has jumped out when I was trying to cover something up.

I'm sharing this with the Metro readers. If you all ready know this, sorry. Please don't e-mail me and make me feel dumber than I already feel. Am I the only person that didn't know about this....

DID YOU KNOW...

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Manure... An interesting fact. Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by- product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
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Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term 'Ship High In Transit' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
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Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Gone But Not Forgotten

Yves Saint Laurent, 71, French fashion designer, founder of Yves Saint Laurent brand, brain cancer. Bo Diddley, 79, American rock and roll and blues singer, songwriter, and guitarist, heart failure. Jim McKay, 86, American sportscaster (Wide World of Sports, 12 Olympic Games), natural causes. Tim Russert, 58, American journalist and television host (Meet the Press), coronary thrombosis. Cyd Charisse, 86, American actress and dancer (Singin' in the Rain, The Band Wagon), heart attack. Dody Goodman, 93, American actress (Grease, Mary Hartman), natural causes.

George Carlin, 71, American comedian and writer, heart failure.
ED NOTE: I remember best George's bit as the Hippy-Dippy Weather Man on the old Smother's Brothers Comedy Hour. Comedian George Carlin was irreverent, cynical, sarcastic, wry, witty, silly, reflective, provocative, poignant, playful, intelligent, outrageous, ironic, humorous, fun, and a genius. Today, we can still enjoy some of the comedic legacy that he has left behind. George, thank you for making us laugh, especially at ourselves, and think about life and the world around us.

AND FINALLY - FROM THE MARS LANDER