Well it’s summer and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be having their fancy schmancy backyard barbeques. I can picture those Grillin’ Grandbrats out there on their decks and patios sipping their mineral water and eating s'mores. Just thinking of those Spoiled Spatulas makes me hotter than the metal skewers on one of Steve McCarty’s Shish-kabobs.

Oh, I can picture Kelly McCarty out there on his patio with 50,000 BTU natural gas built-in barbeque. “Oh, there’s even a side burner where allows me to boil water for a side dish.” Fiddle Foey!! When we were kids, my Dad didn’t need no fancy built-in barbeque. All we had was a 10” by 10” Hibachi Grill. And the only natural gas around there came out of my Dad, when he squatted down next to it. That Hibachi operated on Kingsford Charcoal Briquettes and my dad would put two gallons of lighter fluid to get it going. When he threw the match on that thing it was like a flash pot going off at a KISS Concert. Sure we’d all get 2nd Degree burns but we didn’t care, we loved it!!

And those Gourmet Good For Nothings will be grilling Steaks, Chicken, Salmon, and even a Turkey Breast. You had two choices when my Dad barbequed. You got a hot dog or you got nothing!! My old man worked for years figuring out the geometry of how to put the maximum number of hot dogs on that tiny Hibachi. Sure, some were burnt to a crisp, some fell on the ground, and they all tasted like lighter fluid but we didn’t care, we loved it!!!

And Kelly McCarty has his new Patio wired for sound so he can play Michael Bolton music while you eat his fancy barbeque. My dad wouldn’t have been caught dead playing sissy music at a barbeque. He’d bring out his battery powered transistor radio, extend the antenna to its maximum length and then we’d listen to the Detroit Tigers on WJR Radio. Sure there was so much static that Ernie Harwell sounded like Neal Armstrong talking from space, but we didn’t care, we loved it!!!

So you sit there on your bar stools and enjoy your little summer barbeque with your white wine and goat cheese. As for me, I’m getting me a Hibachi Grill sand a Giant Bag of Kingsford Charcoal Briquettes, with a 55 gallon drum of lighter fluid. And I’m going to load that bad boy up and toss a match on it…BOOM!!! Anybody want a hot dog?? 

Have a great summer!!

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