OCTOBER
2007

Well it’s October and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be getting ready for Halloween. Just thinking of those Goofy Goblins makes me madder than our neighbor Walter used to get when we rang his doorbell and ran away on Devil’s Night. 
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Those dorky decorators will be putting up all kind of store bought decorations. They will have inflatable pumpkins and flashing strobe lights. When we were kids the only decorations we had were our carved pumpkin and then we would put rags in some of my Dad’s clothes and put a dummy in a lawn chair. Sure, some kids would throw the dummy up on the roof and then the candle in the Jack-O-Lantern would turn the pumpkin black and make the face cave in, but we didn’t care we loved it, because we were happy with what we had. And we got to eat pumpkin seeds!!

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You can bet those over-protective parents will be putting reflective tape and flashing safety lights on their kid’s costumes. Why don’t they carry them around like the cry babies that they are? When we were kids, our parents dressed us up in black costumes and made us wear store bought plastic masks with tiny slits for eyes and no air holes. Then they would send us walking on West Chicago on a pitch black night. Sure cars would be beeping at us, but we didn’t care we loved it!!
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And those costumed cowards are only allowed to go Trick or Treating at houses that they know. The people we knew were the houses we didn’t want to go to. We knew they gave out rotten candy. We would walk miles to go to strangers’ houses so that we could get pillow cases full of candy. Sure, we had to screen our candy for razor blades, rat poison, and Nekko Wafers, but we didn’t care we were happy to get lots of candy. 

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So while your getting ready for Halloween with your store bought decorations and UL approved Halloween costumes, I’ll be having the time of my life eating pumpkin seeds and passing out Nekko Wafers. Hey, where did my dummy go?!! Happy Halloween!!