.
 A NOTE FROM LARZ Thanks Kelly for putting the second King of Tennessee up on the top of the page. Al and Elvis are our favorite sons. I bet y'all didn't know that the National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in pick-up trucks.
This was done in an effort to determine, when accidents occurred, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of crashes were, "Oh, Crap!" (or some derivative of that substance).
Only the state of Tennessee was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this!" Hope y'all have a great St. Patty's Day! --Lar | 
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MAKING THE ROUNDS WITH OUR NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH PATROL | 
| During February, we had our monthly Neighborhood Watch Patrol meetin'. |
During the new business portion of our meetin', I introduced my new invention. I modified Margaret's Leprechaun Trap from this month's craft page to make a proto-type, illegal immigrant catcher to install at the Mexican border patrol. I'm gonna market it for $29.95 plus the cost of a taco. | 
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 | Lauren, along with some of the other neighbors, prepare for the next neighborhood watch patrol meetin' (Lauren's been told she's got the most accurate firing finger in the county!) |
During our 15 minute smoking break, some of the neighbors like to git a little wild. We ain't got many lakes in our area, so we like to pretend to water-ski down our muddy road. | 
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 | Finally, at the end of a long, hard meetin', there's nothin' better than to pop down to the "Y", and go in the hot tub that Cooter sooped up with his outboard motor. |
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