This is Bob “Dirt Napping” Hope here and I wanna tell you ladies and gentlemen, I’m really excited about that Dan McCarty Golf Classic.
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• I wanna tell you, I can’t wait to see that McCarty foursome. I’m telling you they keep score like Enron prepares financial statements. I watched them on one hole and I haven’t seen that many recounts since I was in Florida for the 2000 Presidential Election.
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• And how about that Twin Lakes Golf Course they’re playing on.  You can get some pretty bad lies,  I wanna tell you, I hit my drive and I haven’t seen a ball in that predicament since Mike McCarty slipped off the seat on his ten speed bike. Isn’t that wild?
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• And how about that Bob Balch, isn’t he something? He starts playin’ that Danny Boy and the tears start flowing. I wanna tell you, I haven’t seen that many watering eyes since Kelly McCarty had 4 Bean Burritos on the trip to Gull Lake.

• And how about that Rick McCarty, Isn’t he something? He likes to use those fancy gadgets, I hear he’s got a hand held computer that will tell you what club to use if you enter the distance and the condition of that your ball is lying in. I wonder what club it will tell him to use when he is 175 yards from the hole and his ball is laying on some guy’s patio furniture?
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• And how about that Wally Jankowski foursome, aren’t they wild. Everytime Wally goes into the woods to look for his ball he covers himself with Deer Urine.  Wally’s foursome has nice golf outfits, too. I haven’t seen that much Camouflage since I saw Tonya Harding’s butt on Celebrity Bootcamp.