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What are your New Year's resolutions?
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| | Your Resolutions...  To be a good husband and father, and to reach my "target" weight. -Kelly
My resolutions, have way more fun when I can. Never turn down an opportunity for a fun adventure! -Gwenda
Make time to paint, crochet, and work-out. -Kristen
I want to learn to play guitar as good as my brothers Kelly and Mike. -Jerry
To enjoy hearing the Eagles Greatest Hits all weekend, every weekend.” -Kathlene
Do well in college, Find job/internship for summer, Help Chris move to Oregon in Summer. -Austin
To be a better person. -Margaret
Don't vote for Hilary Clinton -Chuck Norris
To herd a flock of sheep into McClanahan's Pub by the DMGC. -Ryan & Missy
To be a healthier than I was this year and to be a better wife and mother. -Karen
Save more money, pay more off all debts and invest wisely... -Gwenda
Poop twice a day - Once when getting up, a second push right after lunch. -Steve O
Help the McCartys understand they need to vote differently before it is too late! -Paul B
Try to contact old acquaintances. Maintain a more healthy lifestyle. Try to spend more time with various charities and other needy organizations. -Mike B
FILL OUT THE FORM ABOVE TO
ADD YOUR RESOLUTIONS! | SIGNS THAT MOM'S NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY MIGHT BE BOMBING  Steve pulls a groin after trying repeatedly to kick the string on the ceiling fan
Rick is firing his gun, but it's only 9:30
Mom ordered some platters and in walks a trio of old, black dudes singing "Only You"
Kelly is drunk and is kissing the pole in the basement (and it's not Margaret)
Mike takes some cookies over to Yugo's house but gets lost. He hasn't been seen or heard from for 6 hours.
Megan threatens that she, Jenna, Stephanie Platz, and Lilly (her doll) will start breaking ornaments 1 by 1 from the tree until Uncle Kelly agrees to take them to Splish Splash Village.
Mom makes Kristen and Margaret sit on the steps for their sassy talk.
Mike is found by Uncle Jack roaming the streets. Later, he challenges Aunt Loretta to a leg wrestle
Mom and Karen go heavy on the whiskey sours, and end up playing and singing an "R" rated version of Bad Bad LeRoy Brown.
Brad, Austin, and Kevin are coming to the realization that there are not going to be any hot babes at this party.
Steve finds a "Happy 2002" sticker on the packet of shrimp he had been eating all night from Mom's refrigerator
At the stroke of midnight, Kelly dons the champagne, which tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer
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The song, "Auld Lang Syne," playing in the background, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English speaking country in the world to bring in the new year. At least partially written by Robert Burns in the 1700's, it was first published in 1796 after Burns' death. Early variations of the song were sung prior to 1700 and inspired Burns to produce the modern rendition. An old Scotch tune, "Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago," or simply, "the good old days". |
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Ponderings for the New Year Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? |  | Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip's Screwdriver?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? |
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McCarty Metro
Countdown To
The Year
2008
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