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. | Teacher's First Day Nightmare | 
| When a rich kid's lawyer comes in and tries to negotiate a "teacher's pet" deal
When the students make a real fuss because you tell them you plan to use books again this year
When you've forgotten your Prozac, and suddenly you flip out and begin yelling at the kids to clean their rooms and get off the phone |
On Top Of Old Smokey An old classic childhood school song. Here are the 4 versions that I know of. Learn the words! Know the words! Be the words! | School Version | Recess Version | Lunch Version | Dinner Version | | . | . | . | . | On top of Old Smokey,
All covered with sand,
I shot my poor teacher,
With an red rubber band.
I shot her with pleasure,
I shot her with pride,
For I couldn't miss her,
She was forty feet wide.
She run out and catched me,
Throwed me 'cross her knee,
In the seat of my britches,
I had my old Geography.
She reached for her ruler,
And took a swipe at me,
She missed old Kentucky,
But she hit Tennessee. | On top of Old Smokey
All covered with dirt,
I lost my suspenders
My socks and my shirt.
I lost my umbrella.
I lost my pet frog.
My food in my lunch box,
Got ate by a dog.
I lost my left sneaker,
My hat and my comb.
I lost my new toothbrush.
I lost my way home.
I found my way home, then
I did sure enough.
And I found my mommy
With all of my stuff | On top of my pizza
All covered with sauce
Could not find the mushrooms
I think they got lost.
I looked in the closet
I looked in the sink
I looked in the cup that
Held my cola drink.
I looked in the saucepan
Right under the lid
No matter where I looked
Those mushrooms stayed hid
Next time you make pizza
I'm begging you, please
Do not give me mushrooms
But just plain old cheese. | On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.
It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.
The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree. | 
The Weapon Used!
| 
| .
The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.
So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze. |
Our Readers Speak Out
What Was Your Favorite Class, And Who Was Your Favorite Teacher | Metro Reader | Response | | Kelly McCarty | My favorite teacher was Mr. Rizzuto. He was my high school business teacher at Ford. He used to incorporate the lessons with games dealing with business. He made it very enjoyable for me. He also was the only one not to laugh at me on St. Patrick's Day when I came in with a huge paper shamrock pinned to my shirt saying " Begora!". | | Karen Seeling | My favorite teacher was my sixth grade teacher, Mr. Mariotti. The reason he stands out in my mind above all other teachers is that he is one of the only teachers that I can say made his lessons memorable. We made our own telescope, listened to opera, took a tour of Detroit (what teacher would do that now?), and read Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He took us to play hockey at the ice arena by our school at lunch, taught us how to develop film, and had a nickname for everyone. Mr. Mariotti also caught teenagers smoking pot in our elementary bathrooms (the high school was across the street) and made them stand in our classroom so that we could laugh and ridicule them about being losers until the police came. He was the best!!!! | | Mike McCarty | My have a co-vote for favorite teacher: Mr. Russell and Mrs. Morris, gym teachers at George Ford Elementary. Thanks for the dynamic duo of Russell & Morris, I learned these life lessons:
1. Dodge balls when they come at you.
2. You have to climb a rope one hand at a time to get to the top.
3. Two words: Square dancing.
I also have an honorable mention for favorite teacher: Mr. Galerneau in shop class. Who else would assign a project called The Gizmo (a belt holder that defies gravity). |
Submit Your Favorite Teacher & Class
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Did you hear about the cross eyed-teacher?
