. At the urging of several people, I have started yet another column for the Metro. I have worked as a network administrator, webmaster, and PC technician for the past 11 years, and I will share some of my knowledge on the subject of computers. Feel free to write me your komments, kwestions, or komputer stories. o-K I hope you enjoy this page. STARTING A WEBSITE FOR YOUR BUSINESS | 
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| . | . | ED NOTE: Here is my helpful hint for October. Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as others see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration. These are a few of the actual websites of legitimate companies. | .
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| OCTOBER TIP Keystrokes for speeding up browsing in
Internet Explorer | ACTION | KEYSTROKE | | Go to URL | Ctrl + O | | Show history | Ctrl + H | | Go to top of page | Home | | Go to bottom of page | End | | Go back | Alt + left arrow | | Go forward | Alt + right arrow | | Scroll Up | Up arrow | | Scoll Down | Down arrow | | Stop page loading | Esc | | Refresh current page | Ctrl + R or F5 | | Save current page | Alt + F then A | | Print current page | Ctrl + P | | Edit Favorites | Ctrl + B | | Add Favorites | Ctrl + D | | New browser window | Ctrl + N | | Close current window | Ctrl + W | | New message | Ctrl + M | | Find on current page | Ctrl + F | | Move between frames | Shift+Ctrl+Tab | | Forward between links | Tab | | Backward between links | Shift+Tab | | Go to selected Hyperlink | Enter |
| KOMPUTER KWESTIONS 
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How Do You Say "Computer" In Spanish? A Spanish teacher at my school was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups,
male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The boy's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because...
.....1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
.....2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
.....3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
.....4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(OH... THIS GETS BETTER!)
The girl's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because...
.....1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
.....2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
.....3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
.....4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
Of course... the girls won.
| Who's More Computer Literate - Jesus vs. Satan Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused... They faxed... They e-mailed... They e-mailed with attachments... They downloaded... They did spreadsheets... They wrote reports... They created labels and cards... They created charts and graphs... They even did some genealogy reports. They did every job known to man. Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?" God just shrugged and said, 
| Life As A Network Admin 
Free Metro Downloads Here are some items you can download for free to help you enjoy the entire McCarty Metro experience.
Using Your Computer To restore a mouse. Before you just throw it away... try this first: 1. Soak and agitate in hot soapy water (unplug first)
2. Rinse in hot water and shake dry
3. Rinse in isopropyl alcohol, return the alcohol to its container
4. Hang to dry overnight
5. If it still doesn’t work, cut off its tail! |
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