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• DATELINE: METRO OFFICES
  The annual Christmas name draw / Gift Exchange was held at Mom's house on October 15th. Making their presence at the drawing just to keep things on the up-and-up were Mom, Mike, Karen, Jill, Kelly, Margaret & Austin. Names were kept in a mayonnaise jar (with an expiration date of 2002) in the refrigerator, until Mike started making sammiches. The limit for gifts this year is $1000. ABSOLUTELY NO GOING OVER THE LIMIT!!!

John & Ann Marie Russo share their first dance	Bob & Carl, along with Best Man Tony, play a song
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Ann Marie tosses the bouquet My money is on the girl in blue	John diplomatically tells the Metro Editor and his wife that it was NOT a Halloween costume party

• DATELINE: BACK ROOM AT THE WEDDING RECEPTION
  In a back room meeting at the wedding reception, Mike Wiacek huddled with some other wedding guests to present his plan on moving the 22nd annual Gull Lake Open to a new venue. Armed with a PowerPoint presentation, charts, graphs, weather analysis, and a big payola from Garland Country Club, Mike presented his plans to reigning champ, Frank Meriam, groom John Russo, Bob Balch, and myself. The presentation was strictly to garner support for the move, but any decision will have to have a majority decision by the contestants.

• DATELINE: BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT
  Todd "Rambo" Rammler, lead guitar player for Brad Savage & The Cockroaches, along with his lovely wife Erica are proud to announce the birth of their daughter Rachel Elizabeth on September 29th. Rachel is the couple's second child. She weighed in at 6 lbs. 14 oz. Todd & Erica are very excited and thankful for the blessed arrival of daddy's little girl. Congratulations to the Rammlers!

Baby Rachel	Proud Big Brother Ready To Help

• DATELINE: FALL BREAK
  Here are some pictures of Amanda going skydiving over fall break. She didn't tell mom or dad she was doing it until after she had done it. ED NOTE: Sounds pretty sneaky to me!

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Amanda (above) landed safely, however.....  I hope her instructor (right), who got blown a little off course, learned something from the late "Crocodile Hunter", or at least has a good life insurance policy!

CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS

ED NOTE: I encourage you to send in your celebrity sightings to the McCarty Metro. Each month, we will post them, and the best ones will be nominated for an M&M award.
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Jerry and Chubby Checker come off the dance floor after a twist off	Margaret hooks up with legendary radio personality Dick Purtan... aka... SUPERMAN

PAST TO PRESENT
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PARKMAN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 2006 I came across this site http://mi.localschooldirectory.com/schools_info.php/school_id/41783. Parkman has changed a bit since we were there... they don't have 6th - 8th grades

School Statistics General Information Total Students: 454 Full Time Teachers: 13 Student/Teacher Ratio: 35 Students : 1 Teacher . Race Distribution % Asian: 0% % Black: 99% % Hispanic: 0% % Native American: 0% % White/Other: 1%

Number of Students Per Grade Pre-K Kindergarten 1st Grade 2nd Grade 3rd Grade 4th Grade 5th Grade 6th Grade 7th Grade 8th Grade  32   58   73   68   72   84   67   0   0   0

. HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED! Public school teachers rate the top disciplinary problems. 1956 Talking out of turn Chewing gum Making Noise Running in the halls Cutting in line Dresscode violations Littering 2006 Drug abuse Alcohol abuse Pregnancy Suicide Rape Robbery Assault AN EMERGENCY RESCUE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They were unable to decide who would let go, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids and for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in  return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.

• DATELINE: HALLOWEEN REVENGE?
  There have be literally hundreds of reports of family pets attacking their owners while they slept the night of Halloween. Most of the owners received extensive injuries as the maniac pets kept attacking with a vengeance. The owners that could speak after the incidents are surprised and shocked at "Man's Best Friend". It seems the only similarity between the events is that all the owners walked their dogs in front of the other dogs in the neighborhood on Halloween night. Here are some photos...

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PEANUT & JOCKO AUDITIONS

Bradric Productions CEO, Jerry McCarty, along with his wife Kathlene (the voice of Jocko) held open auditions for any toon that wanted to be in an upcoming episode of the popular comic seen exclusively in the new McCarty Metro Magazine. Many well known characters showed up for the auditions. The five finalists are shown. They are, Captain TP, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, Goldie the toilet tight rope walking goldfish, Cookie the bean chef, and Roger Rabbit. The winner has yet to be determined.
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Captain TP, the Taco Bell dog, and others auditioned for a part in an upcoming episode of Peanut & Jocko .

Mike On This guy literally gets a kick out of Mike's sports page . . . RED WINGS TAKE THE ICE AGAIN There is nothing better than seeing hockey again. Sure, we are going to miss the captain, but I'm sure Nick Lidstrom will do a great job.  One of the toughest jobs is referee and linesman for the NHL. But fans all over the US and Canada have the utmost respect for the zebras (that's Grand Rapids Press lingo for the referees) It is always important to root for your team, and not against the opponents, and to give the men in the convict outfits the benefit of the doubt at all times. Remember good sports starts with good sportsmanship. People reading this may think I'm a little off my rocker, but then again, I did play goalie for many years with a mask that didn't cover my complete head. Anyways... GO WINGS!!! THE DETROIT LIONS THANKSGIVING 2006 LOWLIGHTS THANK YOU TIGERS FOR A GREAT SEASON! . SOCK IT TO 'EM TIGERS - A song from '68 Sock it to ‘em Tigers. Show ‘em how to play Sock it to ‘em Tigers. We’re with you all the way So let ‘em have it Tigers. Sock it to ‘em, Sock it to ‘em, too Detroit is pulling for you. We know that you’ll come through. . (Name the missing lyrics) . We’ve got Gator Brown, the #1 Pinch Hitter in Baseball With McAullife, Oyler, & Wert, you know the enemys gotta fall There's Willie the Wonder hitting hard and All-Star Al Kaline With Boss Mayo Smith in charge so all those boys can shine. . So, Sock it to ‘em Tigers Show ‘em how to play Sock it to ‘em Tigers We’re with you all the way So let ‘em have it Tigers Sock it to ‘em, Sock it to ‘em, too Detroit is pulling for you We know that you’ll come through. DETROIT TIGERS: THINGS TO DO IN THE OFF-SEASON Way to go, Tigers! Sure, they turned into a Coyle Park pick-up team in the World Series, but any team that makes it to the Big Dance is to be congratulated. Especially a team that had 800 losses or whatever it was in one season a few years ago. To help the team hit it off right in 2007, we have compiled a handy list to send to GM Dave Dombrowski, Manager Jim Leyland and the rest of the Tiger brain-trust. 1. Order pine tar for the ENTIRE pitching staff. 2. Persuade the Fox network to hire Mario and Rod to do the World Series, without question. 3. Instruct all Tiger hitters to adopt Sean Casey's batting stance. Practice like a dog in the off-season by raising one leg over a fire hydrant.  4. Instruct ALL Tigers players to adopt the Polanco look. Everyone shaves his head and uses teeth whitener. No exceptions, Magglio. 5. Double the order of Big League Chew. 6. Take pitching staff south in off-season to find carnivals and try to hit the wooden duck and win a prize. (Pretend duck is first base or third base.) 7. If all else fails, tell printers to put disclaimer on Tiger tickets for box and reserved seats near third base and first base: "The Detroit Tigers baseball club and Comerica Park are not responsible for injuries that result from overthrows by pitchers who should know better."

• DATELINE: OAKLAND TOWNSHIP
  With autumn now settling in, the Twin Lakes McCarty's have to keep a special eye out on their bird feeder they keep in the woods by the golf course. "It is important that our feathered friends get their nourishment, and not the other woodland creatures like the squirrels", says Kristen McCarty. But, it seems that it isn't just birds and squirrels getting into the bird feeder.

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AROUND THE NATION (The dumb get dumber & the smart get smarter)

• DATELINE: DANGEROUS FOOD WARNING
  Dr. Timothy Jenkins from Tampa General Hospital was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the
  long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and
  we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, 75-year-old, Emil Hepke in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake?"
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• DATELINE: MERIDIAN, MISSISSIPPI
  George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see out the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No." Then they said, "All patrols were busy. He should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available." George said, "Okay." hung up, counted to 30 and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now ‘cause I've just
  shot 'em all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN IN OCTOBER 2006

From left to right... Boston Celtic President Red Auerbach. Former boxing champ Trevor Berbick. Country star Freddy Fender. Newsman Christopher Glenn. NY Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle. Former Detroit Tiger pitcher Joe Neikro. "Father Knows Best" star Jane Wyatt

AND FINALLY...

HAVE A GREAT DAY!