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.| Well it’s November, and that means those McCarty Grandbrats will be getting ready to watch the Detroit Lions play football on Thanksgiving Day. I picture those Lazy Loafers sitting on their La-Z Boys with finger food. Just thinking of those Sofa Sitting Slackers makes me hotter than a Geno’s Pizza Roll right out of the oven. These kids don’t know anything about watching football. |
| Those Home Theater Homos have to watch the game on their flat screen, Hi-Definition, Plasma Television with Surround Sound, Picture in Picture, and Infrared Remote Control. When we were kids we didn’t need any of that stuff. We had a TV from Monkey Wards that had the plastic knob broken off so we had to turn the channel with a pliers. We had crappy appliances that broke, but we didn’t care we were happy with what we had. | 
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| Those Remote Control rejects have to watch the game with all the special effects. “Ewww….I need to see the computer generated yellow first down line so I can see if the Lions get a first down.” Listen, the first down is 10 yards, do the math….. plus, the Lions never make a first down anyway. They ought to put that line somewhere where I don’t know, like when the Lions are going to have a winning record. There will be a big yellow line across 2024, I’ll tell you when they get close. When we were kids we didn’t need no computer generated first down markers. We had the Chain Gang at the Lions Games back when they played outside. And my Uncle Bud was on the Chain Gang for 12 years. Sure he’d drink about 10 high balls before going out in the cold and then stagger across the field to measure a first down, but we didn’t care, it made the game more interesting. |
| And for these Television Turkeys have to watch the pregame, the postgame, and the day after the game show. Like I want to watch some former Lion who never did anything analyze the Detroit Lions. That’s like have having Shaquille O’Neal analyze Ben Wallace’s free throw shooting. When we were kids we didn’t need no post game analysis. They would just say, “The Lions lost to the Bears this week, and next week they will lose to the Packers”. End of analysis. We watched the game and then it was over, but we didn’t care we loved it!! Because we got to join Adam-12, already in progress. |
| So you let those little football fairies sit on their keesters and watch 24 hour coverage of football on their fancy schmancy TV sets. As for me, I’m going to sit in front of my TV with my Towne Club pop and a bag of Cheetos and watch the Lions lose again. And because Adam-12 is only on TV-Land, I’m going to need a good pair of pliers. | . |
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