"We only have One Mom, One Mommy, One Mother in this World, One life. Don't wait for the Tomorrow's to tell Mom, you love her". Sunday May 14, 2006 we celebrate Mother's Day in North America. In the United Kingdom, Mothering Sunday is celebrated on March 26, 2006. The first Mother's Day observance was a church service honoring Mrs. Anna Reese Jarvis, held at Anna Jarvis's request in Grafton, West Virginia, and in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on May 10, 1908. Enjoy some of this page with your Mom this Mother's Day. 
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Mother's Dictionary Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. Full Name: What you call your child when you're mad at him. Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings. Puddle: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. Show Off: a child who is more talented than yours. Sterilize: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. Top Bunk: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas. Two Minute Warning: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. Verbal: able to whine in words Whodunit: none of the kids that live in your house.. Weekend: when Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc. | Mother's Day 1-Liners If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?
Personally, I think today's kids ought to do something really special for their Mothers on Mother's Day -- like move out!
Hey guys -- looking for a great gift for your Mother-in-Law on Mother's Day? Why not send her back her daughter?
A single Mom was asked by a friend what her son was taking in college. With a sigh she replied, "Everything I have."
Fathers -- take heart, your day is coming, and you can be sure of getting at least one thing -- the bills from Mother's Day.
Most Mothers are always amazed when their sons and daughters marry a person with much lower mental capacity, ambition and moral standards, yet still manage to have utterly brilliant children.
Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might chastise her offspring for not eating by saying, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill you." A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill myself."
A daughter broke-up with her boyfriend. She asked her Mother's advice about returning the gifts he'd given her. Without a pause, her Mother replied, "Send back the stuffed animals and letters, but keep the jewelry for sentimental reasons." |
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| Mothers & Daughters One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?" |
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Things Moms Would Never Say "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
"Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house look more cheery"
"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"
"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"
"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."
"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
"I don't have a tissue with me... just use your sleeve"
"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve" |
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METRO ADVERTISEMENT 
from area businesses
BAD BOYS HOME Serving Detroit since 1954 Moms, we’re there when you need us. Put ‘em on the porch, we pick ‘em up. |
. To all mothers: Greetings from under the basement steps at The McCarty Metro. From Metro staff |
| EU DE CHEAP
PERFUMES LTD. To All McCarty Men: Thank you for your longtime patronage. We count on you every Mother’s Day. Special thanks from our 2 Gallon Division. From Eu De Cheap 
Ask for our new product, the Eu De Bob & Jean, available in 2-gal., 3-gal. and reservoir sizes. |
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