Dr. Fenner
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Dr. Coots
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| Dr. Fenner MD, retired in the 1970's after an investigation of anesthesia methods. Fenner swore by the Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard method. Dr. Coots DDS, retired after his method of tooth extraction, which entailed a handkercheif and a distraction (and the fact that he only got the correct tooth 60% of the time), came under scrutiny with the modern patient. Both doctors are now in their 90's, and they have agreed (as part of a plea bargain) to come aboard the McCarty Metro and answer reader questions with their old-fashioned, no nonsense approach. Feel free to send your questions because... The Doctor is In 
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| ASK DR. FENNER | | ASK DR. COOTS |
Dear Dr. Fenner:
Is dieting good for you? -Bob PhillipsMy weight is my shepherd;
I shall not want low-calorie foods.
It maketh me to munch on chips and bean dip;
It leadeth me into 31 flavors;
It restoreth my soul food;
It leadeth me in the paths of cream puffs in bakeries.
Yea, though I waddle through the valley of weight watchers,
I will fear no skimmed milk;
My appetite is with me;
My 'Twinkies' and Ding Dongs,' they comfort me;
They annoiteth my body with calories;
My scale tippeth over!
Surely chubbiness and contentment shall follow me
All the days of my life.
And I shall dwell in the house of Hostess forever! 
| | Dear. Dr. Coots:
I have yellow teeth, what do I do? -DaveWear a brown tie. | A (very) Little Dental Humor From Dr. Coots... Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth Dentist says to the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 7 o'clock tennis game. |
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| Official Dr. Fenner Exercise Guide | | Top Ten Signs You May Be Working For The Wrong Dentist |
| Monday | Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper | | Tuesday | Drag your heels
Push your luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head | | Wednesday | Bend over backwards
Jump on the Band Wagon
Run around in circles | | Thursday | Toot your own horn
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire | | Friday | Open a can of worms
Put your foot in your mouth
Start the ball rolling
Go over the edge | | Saturday | Pick up the pieces. | | Sunday | Kneel in prayer
Bow my head in thanksgiving
Uplift your hands in praise
Hug someone and encourage them. |
Whew! Now that's a workout! | | 10: Directions to the office include: "Turn Onto The Dirt Road." 9: Your dentist is wearing a pair of pants you gave to the Salvation Army last month.
8: Your dentist giggles uncontrollably whenever he hears the words "That Hurts!"
7: All the front keys on your dentist's personal computer are rotted out.
6: Dental diploma appears to be a warranty from "Black and Decker."
5: Number #1 on the patient questionnaire is: "Have you ever pressed charges?"
4: When giving nitrous the patient is assured, "Don't Worry, I Just Tried Some Myself."
3: When giving a local injection you hear: "Gosh, let's all do a shot!"
2: Your Christmas bonus includes a free subscription to "Living Cheap Magazine."
1: Your retirement plan includes a free seed catalog and instructions on how to grow your own food. |
