Questions:

Dear Chrissy,
Some kids in school were doing some research on how the number of drinks you have affect the alcohol level in the blood. They came across the name of a drink called a "hairy buffalo." They asked me what it was. I didn't know but looked it up and found a variety of answers, but it seems that it was a mixture of any leftover alcohol and fruit. Do you have any expert knowledge on this one? -Karen
This is not a drink for the faint of heart. You basically cut up a bunch of fruit, throw it in a garbage can (hopefully a new one), then add 2 cans of fruit punch and ice cubes. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the 5 fifths you will need too. Equal parts of Gin, 151 Proof Rum, Jose Cuervo Tequila, Absolut Vodka, and Jack Daniels. Stir it all up and Voila!!! Added note... Keep the toilet area clear all night long.

Dear Chrissy,
HELP! I was trying to make a strawberry margarita while visiting my brother Andy's family in Maryland over the holidays. Well, something went wrong and the blender spewed red stuff all over the host's kitchen. What can I do to avoid this embarrassing scenario the next time? Also, can you suggest any good cleaning agents to get strawberry tequila off kitchen floors? -Out-of-control mix-it man Ryan of Hudsonville, Mich.
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Actually, since you wrote this over a month ago, I'm assuming your new question is how to get rid of all the ants in the kitchen. Seeing how Ryan was wiping the floor, you must have some doozies. I would buy an aardvark.

Creating The Perfect Mix

Mixing is like playing tennis. It is easy to learn how to hit the ball -- or pour a jigger, but it is difficult, often agonizing, to reach the level of a pro. Just as a tennis pro can explain the different strokes necessary to elevate your game to the next level, so can I give you a few tips and hints on how to mix up a dream cocktail. Yet, ultimately perfecting it is entirely up to you. .
Gin should always be kept in the freezer. Anything with more than about 30% alcohol (60 proof) will not freeze, but will maintain a viscous, ice-cold consistency. Vermouth should be kept in the refrigerator as keeping it on the wine cart or in a cupboard will see it loose its flavor in little more than a week. . Ice should be cracked, not crushed, and there should be lots of it. I strongly believe that you can never use too much ice when mixing a good Martini. . Use a 2 oz bar glass if you have one (I even chill my shot glass). Remember that most bar glasses are imprecise. find one that is close to exact, and try to use it every time for consistency sake. Trust the glass, or the jigger, not your eye. . Use a different bar glass for each ingredient, or rinse out the one you are using between ingredients.
The shaker, metal or glass, should be kept in the freezer until needed. . Gin should be poured first and so cold it steams as it drains through the ice. . All other ingredients should be poured starting with the one most called for (i.e. 1 oz. poured before 1/2 oz.) . Stirring is always preferable to shaking. Thanks to James Bond, more Martinis are shaken than stirred, bruising the gin and changing the flavor of the cocktail. Unless a recipe calls for vigorous shaking, I prefer to use along handled bar spoon and give the ingredients a good stir, letting them blend gently with each other so that you can almost see how they fit together. For proper dilution, stir each Martini at least 20 times. While, I don't prefer it, you can stir several Martinis into a mix at once. . If you must shake, shake right. Don't just rock the shaker back and forth a few times, put some muscle into it. Shaking is supposed to be for vigorous blending, so hold that shaker at there and shake it diagonally with a good steady rhythm. Shake only one drink at a time. . Use a good strainer and pour at once into a pre-chilled cocktail glass. . Add your desired garnish, olive, onion, lemon twist.

`"Happiness is finding two olives in your martini when you're hungry." -- Johnny Carson, 1960`

Allies Cocktail

2oz gin
2oz dry vermouth
0.5oz Kummel

Combine ingredients. Shake and Strain, and serve in a cocktail glass

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