The McCarty Metro - Jerry's World

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Jerry's World

Well, I’m sick and tired of trying to carry on a conversation with those little good for nothing grandbrats only to realize they have headphones in their ears and they are listening to their I-Pods. They just keep nodding their heads to that crappy stuff they call music. Just thinking about those little techno twits makes me hotter than the disco lights on Brad Savage’s speakers.

Those musical morons will listen all day to their digital music. “Ohhh this is a flawless audio reproduction that only has small differences that cannot be heard by the human ear” Fiddle Fooey, I wish my human ear didn’t have to listen to their drivel. When I was a kid, we listened to vinyl records that we played so many times the hisses would even skip. If the skipping got too bad we would tape pennies to the phonograph needle so it wouldn’t jump. If you wanted to listen to a good record like my brother Mike’s 45 RPM version of the Rolling Stones’ “Honky Tonk Woman”, you’d have about 56 cents sitting on the needle. We had rotten audio quality and we had to put loose change on the needle, but we didn’t care we loved it.

And all of those digital dorks love to download music for free. They’ll be on Napster, Jamster, Blubster, and Rockster. The reason the music is free is because it’s all Crapster! When I was a kid the only free music I ever got was the copy of “Sugar Sugar” by the Archies which was on the back of the Super Sugar Crisp Cereal Box. And that was a cardboard record that had milk stains on it. Then you’d have to pour the rest of the cereal from a box with a big hole in the side. We got crappy records on crappy cereal boxes, but we didn’t care, we loved it!! Cause it was free!!

And those Dorky Drivers even put their I-Pods in their cars so they can listen to 1000 songs while they’re driving. When I was growing up, all we had was an AM Radio, and the only music we could listen to was on CKLW. Then I got an FM-Converter that fit underneath the dashboard and then an 8 Track Tape Player that fit under the glove box and a Cassette tape recorder that I put under the front seat. I had more wires in that car than you could shake a stick at. And if I turned on the windshield wipers, I’d blow a fuse. I had lots of accessories, but I didn’t care, I got to listen to the Bay City Rollers.

So if you want to get your kids attention, erase all the music on I-Pod and see how long they last. And when they start their whining give ‘em a cereal box and tell them to play that on their I-Pod. And if the I-Pod doesn’t work, try taping a nickel to it.

Have a great Halloween!!