Queet! Well, I’m sick and tired of these little McCarty Grandbrats being such picky eaters. The food has to be just right or else they turn up their noses. Just thinking of those Epicurean Idiots makes me hotter than the inside of my Tuna Pot Pie.
. | Those little Finicky Fussbudgets have to have their Hot Pockets and their Go-Gurts. Like their lives are so complicated they have to save time by sucking yogurt out of a tube on the run. How much time are they saving anyway? When I was a kid if we wanted a quick meal we got Cheese and Crackers or a Swanson TV Dinner. My mom would fold back the aluminum foil on the TV Dinner so she didn’t burn the Apple Brown Betty. After 40 minutes, you’d have a fine meal of Salisbury Steak and Peas & Carrots. Sure the Salisbury Steak had a frozen center and the Peas & Carrots were stuck to the aluminum tray, but we didn’t care we loved it, because we were happy with what we had. | 
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And you can never get those On the Go Goofballs to sit down 5 minutes for dinner. “Oh, I have to go to Soccer Practice and then sit in the Abercrombie Internet Chat Room.” Fiddle Foey! When I was a kid we all sat down for dinner together. There were ten of us and we only six chairs but we were together. Sure I had to sit in an old high chair and Mom and Larry had to sit on the Piano Bench, because they were left handed, but we didn’t care we loved it!! Because we were together.
And when it comes to drinks these Beverage Buffoons have to have their own private mini bar. They have their Red Bulls, and their Propel Fitness Water, and their Juice Boxes with tiny straws. When I was a kid we didn’t need no fancy schmancy beverages. If you wanted a drink with dinner, you got two choices…. You got Full 100% Fat Vitamin D Homogenized Milk or you got Nothin!! And if you wanted a drink of water, you went in the backyard and got a drink from the hose. We were bloated from lactose but we didn’t care, we loved it! Because if someone laughed, the milk came out their nose.
So you continue to wait on your little coddled kiddies, but tell them if they come to my house they’re getting a crappy TV Dinner and a warm cup of milk. And they better not spill anything on my piano bench. Happy Easter!
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