The McCarty Metro - A Family Newspaper

Quick Puzzles (bet you don't know them)

Definitions

1. In the string of letters below, can you cross out all of the unnecessary letters, so that a logical sentence remains? ALALTLHOEGUICNANL
ESCEENSTSEANRCYELREETMTAEIRSNS Answer

2. There are only two T's in Timothy Tuttle. True or false? Answer

3. After teaching his class all about roman numerals (X = 10, IX=9 and so on), the teacher asked his class to draw a single, continuous line and turn IX into 6. The only stipulation the teacher made was that the pen could not be lifted from the paper until the line was complete. How did they do it? Answer

Can Anyone Tell Me The Meaning Of Christmas?
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Click Here To Find Out?

Metro Sound Off - Letters To The Editor

GREAT METRO Bro!! I just about peed my pants reading the bell ring-off. -Kristen
ED NOTE: Thanks for the segway. The McCarty Metro's 2 new sponsors for 2006 are "Urine Be Gone", and "Oops, I Crapped My Pants".

Ed! On a recent trip to MI, I partook of some gigantic shrimp... did you all have some type of toxic spill that those things were so large?
-Stuffed after 2
ED NOTE: Must be kinda like going to TN and marveling just how big that possum was that you enjoyed for dinner. Actually, Jim was just compensating. You know what they say... big shrimp, bigger shrimp fork!

Does the Metro give out Gift Subscriptions and is that a valid present in the Christmas name drawing? -Dennis P.
ED NOTE: Yes it does on both accounts. And for all you ladies out there, just like the 'Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue', with each subscription, you are guaranteed your 'McCarty Metro Swimming Trunks Issue'.

Dear Editor. I know the McCarty Metro made a sizeable donation to the Red Cross in the wake of the Katrina disaster. As you open your pockets for yet another natural disaster, keep these facts in mind: Marsha J. Evans, President and CEO of the American Red Cross... salary for year ending 06/30/03 was $651,957 plus expenses. Brian Gallagher, President of the United Way receives a $375,000 base salary, plus numerous expense benefits. The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization. No further comment necessary.
ED NOTE: Interesting!

Dear Editor, I just finished ready Jerry's World and noticed he mentioned that he was going to pee in the alley. Doesn't he know the ramifications of that action? Everyone knows you can get a sty from peeing in the alley! True or False? -Wiping my eye after writing my name in the snow
ED NOTE: That is an old wives tale (or so I was told by an old wife). It is true however, that you can get kicked out of a bowling alley for peeing on the floor and leaving the bathroom looking like a sty.

I have been given the task of getting links for our websites that have good page rank on the links directories. The McCarty Metro is very popular here, even though I don't know who you are. If you would like to trade links please send me your website linking details. Best Regards, -Mariana Snider
ED NOTE: Thanks Mariana. Our newest feature on the Metro is a guest book. The link is at the bottom of every page. I encourage all regular and one-time readers to stop by and leave a comment.

I was checking out the picture of the big birthday bash ... and I must say Cokette or Babs is looking mighty fine ... but what gives with DJ and Larry ... are they twins or something ... or did Yankee's Department Store have a special on shirts ... buy one ... make your younger brother wear one?
ED NOTE: They look like they came from a Star Trek convention. Unbeknownst to little Cokie, the red package has a dog sized version of the same shirt.

Editor, Good article on "The Battle of the Bell(e)s". I brought back a lot of memories. I remember as a kid when I used to ring the doorbells on Devil's Night up in Detroit. -Dee Ingdon
ED NOTE: Senior reporter Mike McCarty did the in-depth coverage on the classic battle. Of course, when Karen read the article, Mike got his own bell rung!

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I have a complaint. I'm upset on the cost of the Christmas draw going up to $30 this year. I remember when it used to be between 5-10 dollars. I don't think we should have to pay that much for a present.
ED NOTE: I agree. I was hoping to get the person I was drawing for a $30 gift card to a gas station. However, I am changing it because it wouldn't come close to filling up the tank. There was a 20'' TV on sale at Meijer this weekend that cost less than filling up the gas tank on my van. Next year though... $5.

Random Thoughts As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life...

Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

What NOT To Say If You Get Pulled Over On New Year's Eve

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
Are You Andy or Barney?
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
I pay your salary!
That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
When the Officer says "Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Well, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Traveling Link Of The Month
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Castaway Bay
Sandusky, Ohio
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Delight in tropical waterpark fun all year long at Castaway Bay, Cedar Point's new year-round attraction in Sandusky. When the day of fun is over, Castaway Bay guests can choose from 237 rooms and suites to accommodate the whole family. Make your plans now for your tropical getaway!
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Rooms and suites feature a private deck or balcony, remote-control television, internet access, microwave, mini-refrigerator and coffee maker. Also, many rooms have access to adjoining rooms - perfect for extended families or large groups. A 38,000-square-foot indoor waterpark, as well as a waterfront sun deck, fitness center, spa, game room and gift shop will appeal to vacationers.
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Castaway Bay also features three restaurants, a craft and child activity center, a 6,000 square foot, state-of-the-art arcade and space for birthday parties, group events and meetings.

http://castawaybay.cedarpoint.com/

	Link Of The Month
Now you can see anyone's Driver's License on the Internet, including your own! I just searched for mine and there it was, picture and all! Thanks Homeland Security! Privacy, where is our right to it? I definitely removed mine, I suggest you all do the same! Go to the website and check it out. Just enter your name, City and State to see if yours is on file. After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked "Please Remove". This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement. Driver's License Search http://www.license.shorturl.com
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