Springtime! Well it’s Springtime and that means those little McCarty Grandbrats will be going to play at the playgrounds all over town. And you can bet that those new fangled playgrounds will have the latest in playground equipment. Just thinking about those little clumsy climbers makes my butt burn more than the Coyle Park metal slide in July.
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| These kids need to have all the safest playground equipment. “Oh, I want to go to the rubberized Pirate Ship with the soft mats below in case I fall off the 2 foot step!” Fiddle Foey!! At Coyle Park, we had the Cheese Castle which was made of cement blocks with holes to stick your head through and bars to climb on. If you played on that death trap, you were sure to get a chipped tooth or a concussion. And if you wanted to climb on something else you could climb on the wooden Stage Coach and peek through the holes and see “the Smokers” making out with their girlfriends. One time DJ and Larry squirted squirt guns into the Stage Coach and got chased around Coyle Park by “Champ Kindred” and “Funny Face” Legery. Sure they were taking their lives in their hands, but we didn’t care we loved it, because Smokers can’t run very fast. Nowadays, these playground punks have to swing on these rubberized swings with straps in the front and side. They look like they are hanging in a rubber diaper. At Coyle Park, the swings were made of wood from the 1950’s that had been repainted with 50 layers of peeling lead based paint. You couldn’t sit on one of those things without getting splinters in your butt. And we would swing really high and jump off ‘em. And we didn’t land in any soft layer of wood chips. We landed in the grass which had rocks, pointed sticks, and broken Coke bottles, but we didn’t care we loved it!! Because we would yell “Geronimo!!!” |
| . | . | | And these kids nowadays bring 50 toys with them to the park. They have their bikes, and their skateboards and their scooters and their basketballs and all kinds of other toys. When I was a kid you could go to the store and get a rubber ball for 19 cents and have the time of your life. You could play Strike-Out, Curb Ball, 500, and even Smear the Queer. Then after about an hour the ball would break in half and you would throw it in the alley. We played crappy games with crappy rubber balls, but we didn’t care we loved it! As long as the street lights didn’t come on. | 
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So you drive your little spoiled brats all over the city looking for the perfect playground. As for me, I’m getting a rubber ball and flying to Detroit to going to Coyle Park. I just hope there are no “Smokers” hanging around. Have a great spring!!
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