| . |  | | Well it’s back to school time and that means those little grand brats will be getting school clothes for the next school year. Oh, they’ll be spending hundreds of dollars on new outfits so they can look like all the other Dress-up Delinquents in school. Just thinking of those little Fashion Misfits makes me wanna scream louder than one of Kelly’s disco shirts.
These kids nowadays read magazines or watch TV to see what all the kids are wearing. “Ooohhh, I want wear a big pair of baggy pants and a big T-Shirt like Lil’ Romeo.” I bet if Lil’ Romeo wore poop on his head, these Style Stooges would stand in line for it. When I was a kid, if I wanted to know what I’d be wearing to school next year, I’d look at what my brother Kelly was wearing, and he got his clothes from Larry and Larry got his from DJ. I wore 7 time hand-me-downs but I didn’t care I loved it! Cause I was happy with what we had.
And when it comes to shopping, those little Gucci Grandbrats will walk all over the mall looking for clothes to wear from every store you ever heard of. When I was in school we had a choice of two places to get our clothes. You either went to K-Mart or you went nowhere! And we would come out of that little brown outhouse dressing room and my mom would tug on the pants to see if they fit. And if she could fit her hand in the waistband they were too big!! I wore size “Slim 16” for 5 years, but I didn’t care, I loved it...because, they were 100 percent polyester!
And these kid’s nowadays get the most expensive athletic shoes. They’ll be buying the $200 Air Free Flight Street Hoop-de-doopers, because that’s what Allen Iverson wears. When I was growing up, the only chance I had to wear NBA shoes was if the entire NBA decided they were going to wear crappy cheap plastic soled K-Mart Gym Shoes. My mom would always get the shoes from the big tub of shoes at the end of the aisle. Those shoes were so cheap that they didn’t even come with a box. They were attached together with some piece of plastic string, so they didn’t get mixed up with all the other crappy shoes. If the temperature got over 90 degrees, the sidewalk would make your plastic soles melt, and we didn’t even think about putting your feet down and dragging them to stop your bike, because your shoes would just fall apart. But we didn’t care we loved those crappy shoes, because they looked good with the crappy pants.
So this year, don’t take your kids to the mall! Just give them your hand me down parachute pants or send them to K-Mart. And you can give them a little tip from Uncle Jer; Before they go to school, make sure they cut that plastic string that holds the two crappy K-Mart shoes together.
Welcome back to school!!! |
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