1. Forget what the box says ….. Use Vinegar (it fizzes).
2. Use Toxic dyes that penetrate the shell and give you colorful albumen. 
3. Always blow the dye before putting your egg in.
4. Everybody only gets 3 eggs a piece, so don’t even ask for more.
5. If you write on the egg with a wax crayon, it does absolutely nothing.

Kids... Here Are The Prime Hiding Places For Your Basket

1. In the clothes basket (will smell like sweat)
2. In the milk chute (doesn't everyone have one)
3. Stuck in the clothes chute (might have dirty underpants on it)
4. In the clothes dryer (chocolate might be melted)
5. In your fathers stomach

Marshmallow Peeps

We can't let Easter go by without saluting Marshmallow Peeps. This year marks the 50th anniversary of the Easter basket candy. Very impressive. But I honestly can't remember if the Easter Bunny ever left Peeps in our basket. And I scoured the Internet but was not able to find the anniversary of the McCarty Easter basket staples: Grass and clothes dryer lint. I also seem to remember loose jelly beans. And there was a woman on Sussex near West Chicago who dumped loose popcorn in our bags. And she, wait a second, I think that was Halloween. Anyway, if you want to find more about Peeps, or even join a Peeps fan club for $9.95 (includes a package of Peeps, too). check out:

http://www.marshmallowpeeps.com/50_anniversary