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McCarty Metro
Under The Basement Step Since 1964 
Metro News Dateline Music World:
Several unsubstantiated Cockroach sightings have occurred after the rumor mill hit that there may be a movie in Hollywood depicting the lives of the washed-up band. First from L.A... Someone saw what they thought was a drunken Brad Savage and Eric Swan in a hot tub singing Cockroach Party. A couple weeks later, patrons of Per Snickitez restaurant in Clinton Township say they saw Brad Savage singing some tunes with "Original Dave" in the popular night spot. In other spottings over the week, Bob Dantzer and Carl Rollin were seen at Kokomo's in Mt. Clemens, Lake Speed was seen at a demolishion derby in Tennessee, and Eddie Stein was seen buying 6 ham sandwiches at the Grand Rapids K-Mart deli.Dateline Hollywood:
Jerry, Kathlene, and an alien dressed all in gold, showed up at the Academy Awards. The Metro just wants to know one thing... Jer... Who did you wear? 
Dateline Lent: by Kristen
These were the top 10 divnner choices by McCartys on the first Friday in Lent. Please note that most of the names are left out to protect the sinners. 10. Fish & Chips (how boring)
9. Cheese Sticks (yawn…)
8. Cheese burger (okay, now we're talking - apparently, Brad has special dispensation)
7. Grilled Chicken (don't mess with the Post Office)
6. Oriental Chicken Salad (Actually, the Clinton Township McCarty's all had special dispensation)
5. Chicken Wrap (yeah, but I'm not a Catholic)
4. Another Fish & Chips (The angelic son)
3. Cheese Sticks & French Fries - with an appetizer of cheese sticks (hope the plumbing can handle that one)
2. Kids burger & fries (According to Steve, Megan is too young to participate)
1. Beef Brisket w/a side of bacon (Mum forgot it was lent, and we weren't saying anything) |
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Dateline Augusta:
Gull Lake X-7 will take place from May 9-11 at the beautiful Gull Lake Golf and Country Club in Augusta Michigan. 2 McCartys will be participating this year. Kelly McCarty will be competing in his 16th event, and Steve McCarty will be back for his 4th. Both are optimistic. Kelly says he'll be playing to win, and Steve was quoted as saying that he is sure he'll play better than last year. "The only 2 good balls I hit last year was when I accidently stepped on a rake around the sand trap on #12."Dateline Grand Rapids:
Karen McCarty was honored this week as she is being considered for a Nobel Peace Prize in medical advancements. Using research from Jean McCarty who used harsh peroxide to unclog a waxy ear, Karen demonstrates her high-tech way to get rid of ear wax. It's just one of many medical advancements in GR. Which reminds me, I've been a tad tired lately and could use a pick-me-up. Just a sec, HEY!!! BRING ME THOSE LEECHES! 
Dateline Ireland:
Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth going bad." Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that one falling victim to temptation." Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity-one of the girls must be quite ill." Click Here To Turn The Page |
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