What's the deal with the stock market?  Look, I don't know a blue chip from a potato chip, but I'm seeing all these morning publications with big red arrows pointed down.  What does this mean? Also, do I buy now?  Keep the 401k or chuck it?  Put the money under my mattress?  Or join the Kit Kat Club or Phat Cat Club or whatever it is?

Sincerely,
No bull in Grand Rapids

Dear Cereal Bull,
I know reading those things over breakfast is more of a downer than reading the ingredients on your cereal box.  What it means in layman's terms are, "You're losing your ass!" By the way, if you are seriously considering joining a club, I prefer Snickers over Kit Kat.
-ED

Dear Editor,

Who does that award-winning Web page for the Fraser Ramblers basketball team. For my money, it's the best thing on the Internet.  By the way, do you know of any openings on the coaching staff?

Sincerely,
Bobby Knight

Hey Knight and Day,
Ah. You have fine tastes in web pages I see. You know there just may be an opening on the staff..... BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE IT.  You know why??? BECAUSE I'M BRAD SAVAGE! UMMMM
-ED

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